


Music of the mundane

by Everything99



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Andy | Andromache of Scythia Needs a Hug, BAMF Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Because the author said so, Booker is confused and scared and therefore kind of an asshole, Crying, F/F, Joe and Andy definitely not, Joe and Nicky give her one, Joe and Nicky need a lot of cuddles, Joe lives for Nicky's eyes, Joe waxes poetic somehow, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani and Nicky | Nicolò di Genova are in Love, Keane got what he deserved for being an asshole later, Kozak is a bitch, M/M, Minor Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Nicky is already in love with him, Nicky is amused, Nicky is like Daredevil just better, Nicky just wants a damn break, Nicky was born blind, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Needs a Hug, Protective!Joe, Some bonding time between Nicky and Book, Team as Family, blind sniper Nicky, blind!Nicky, can still kick asses, everyone is soft, everyone is very sad, everything is all fluffy and sweet until it's not, healing time in Malta, his blindness is not a weakness, his family loves him nevertheless, hurt!nicky, kind of a panic attack I think, kind of romantic campfire, loss and mourning, two immortals in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everything99/pseuds/Everything99
Summary: The darkness is an old friend of Nicolo; it surrounds him when he is born, accompanies him when he lives and is the last thing he perceives when he dies.aka the blind!Nicky story nobody asked for, but I'm here for it
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 212
Kudos: 619





	1. To touch a soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His amazingly pale, breathtaking eyes are always fixed on the table, not even on his own plate, which he empties in slow, deliberate movements. He doesn't grab his glass immediately, brushing it carefully with his fingertips first. And the assumption that is taking shape in Nile's head burns on her tongue, but she stays silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> I got probably inspired by all these amazing other stories about deaf!Joe or autistic!Nicky - i absolutely love them btw! - and decided to try out something new too: Tadaaaa, a blind!Nicky story :D
> 
> The following chapters are like extracts from Nicky's life and have no chronological order, so you can read each chapter as a standalone work :)
> 
> A big thank you to velvetneedles for beta reading this chapter! <3 All mistakes left are my own :D

The darkness is an old friend of Nicolo; it surrounds him when he is born, accompanies him when he lives and is the last thing he perceives when he dies.

-*-

The rest of Andy's small “army” of people who can't seem to die (but somehow can nevertheless) are quite nice at first glance. The man with the curls, Joe, greeted her with a big and bright smile and a bearhug that took Nile by surprise, but not in a bad sense. The sad-eyed Frenchman they call Booker extended his warm, large hand to her with an encouraging nod and squeezed hers tight and welcoming and sat down next to her at the table. The third man of the group, with the strongest accent (that Nile's untrained ear might consider Italian), introduced himself to her in a soft voice as Nicky and attended the conversation, but he never looked her in the eye.

Maybe he's just shy and doesn't like strangers? After all, Nile's life has turned a hundred and eighty degrees in the last few hours and the other immortals surely have to get used to the new situation as well. And she wouldn't have taken it personally and paid no further attention to Nicky's behaviour, because she wants to give him time to open up to her, if he hadn't avoided the looks of the others during the meal as well.

His amazingly pale, breathtaking eyes are always fixed on the table, not even on his own plate, which he empties in slow, deliberate movements. He doesn't grab his glass immediately, brushing it carefully with his fingertips first. And the assumption that is taking shape in Nile's head burns on her tongue, but she stays silent. She has only known these people for a few hours and doesn't know if it would be impolite to blurt out her question, which is pretty personal.

In addition, her head is already buzzing from all the insights she has now gained, such as the incredible age of the three men and Andy, who is mysteriously silent about the specific number of the years of her life. Nicky tilts his head slightly to one side, his face turns towards her and as if he could feel her getting overwhelmed, he says quietly: “It is a lot to understand. You should get some rest. Come, I'll show you.”

Without protest, Nile gets up because she suddenly feels the urge to cry. The friendly behavior of the others reminds Nile of her mother and just the thought of her beautiful, brave mom hurts like a wound. Nicky gets up too, but he does it carefully, pushing his chair back slowly, although he heads for the room behind the table with a certainty that surprises Nile.

With the same certainty he pointed to Joe earlier when he called him the love of his life. And despite the fact that Nicky and Joe had killed each other several times according to their stories. The two are obviously totally in love.

She follows Nicky indecisively into the room, hearing the muffled murmur of a conversation between Andy, Booker and Joe behind her, but she doesn't pay any attention.

“Here,” Nicky says, pointing to an unrolled sleeping bag with a pillow on it and Nile blinks helplessly against the stinging in her eyes.

She clears her throat. “Thank you.”

He smiles or at least it seems to be his variant of it; a very delicate smile barely visible playing around the corners of his mouth. “You're welcome, Nile.”  
  
They are silent for a few seconds and Nile wonders if he is expecting something from her or if she should just walk past him and sit on her bed. Involuntarily, she grimaces because of her indecisiveness, immediately feeling bad afterwards because Nicky cannot _see_ her and, therefore, it seems impolite to her.

Fortunately, Nicky makes the decision for her by turning completely to Nile and, after a tiny moment of hesitation, raising a hand. “I would like to get a picture of you,” he explains to her. “Would you allow me to touch your face?” She stares at him and only realizes that her silence probably lasts too long when he slowly drops his hand. “It is completely understandable if all of this is happening too fast for you.” And he sounds serious, his face showing nothing but patience and empathy.

“Yes, of course,” Nile replies quickly to his question before he can lower his hand completely and takes a step towards him, then back again, because she doesn't know how he wants to approach the matter. “I...I'm sorry, I just didn't expect that...” She falls silent, biting her tongue so as not to blurt out disrespectfully _that you are blind_.

“It's perfectly fine, Nile,” Nicky says, confirming that he has guessed her train of thought and approaches her, but keeps her personal distance and Nile finds this respect for her person incredibly kind of him. “At the beginning, it can be very overwhelming and the many questions you have are quite normal. You shouldn't apologize for it.”

“Oh...uhm, okay.” She is dissatisfied with her response, but doesn't say any more because she can't think of anything else to say. For no apparent reason, she is nervous as Nicky makes a move to cover her face with his hands, unseeing eyes fixed on her collarbone. His gestures are so slow that Nile would have the chance to withdraw should she change her mind. But she wants to show him that she accepts him and doesn't belong to the intolerant assholes of which are unfortunately too many in the world.

His touches are gentle, but secure and efficient as he cups her face and then runs his fingers over her forehead, tracing her eyebrows, down her nose and over her cheekbones. Oh so carefully stroking with his thumbs under her eyes and then gently feeling her lips before he concentrates on her chin. It is not as embarrassing and intimate as she imagined and his gentleness makes her smile.

Nicky must feel the movement of her facial muscles under his fingers because he smiles slightly and pulls back his hands. “Thank you for trusting me, Nile.”

That's the right thing to say.

“You have a very beautiful face,” Nicky continues sincerely and Nile notices to her horror that her cheeks get hot at the compliment. “Did you know that oval face shapes stand for determination and assertiveness?” He doesn't wait for her answer and walks past her, briefly stroking her arm. “You will be a great addition to the team.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :3
> 
> Next chapter: Nicky and Joe at the beginning of their friendship (is it a friendship when everything already screams KAYSANOVA in their early, eaaarly days? :D )
> 
> I appreciate kudos, comments and hugs ;)
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3 ;3


	2. The warmth of a heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It hurt me that you assumed I would inadvertently put my hands in the flames, even though we have been traveling together for years and you have seen that I can find my way around our open camps despite my lack of sight.” Nicolo doesn't even know exactly what caused his hurt until this very moment. But now that he is about to express himself, he realizes. “And it hurt me because you treated me like everyone else does.” _And your're not like everyone else._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all your kudos and comments - I really appreciate it! <3
> 
> Here is the next chap and I am very excited, because it is one of my personal fav's - I could already let my Kaysanova-fangirl-spirit flow a little bit ;) 
> 
> Because I am not blind myself and don't know any blind persons either all of Nicky's blindness is based on my own imagination.
> 
> And a big thank you to velvetneedles for beta reading! :3 All remaining mistakes are my own :D

The warm, dry wind tousles Nicolo's hair, strokes his face and for a shameful moment he imagines that it is Yusuf's fingers that are caressing his cheek. With an iron will Nicolo buries these scraps of thought and is relieved that his companion is unable to look into his head. He doesn't want to know how Yusuf would react if he finds out which feelings are starting to grow in Nicolo's stomach, doesn't want to be abandoned out of horror, because he couldn't bear to be alone anymore.

Across from the fire he hears Yusuf rummaging through his things. A little later, how his worn, small sketchbook is opened and charcoal glides over the pages, causing a soothing, scraping noise.

Night will fall soon, the cold of the end of the day is already lurking in the ground and Nicolo carefully moves closer to the fire, enjoying the flickering heat on his face and on his hands, which he stretches forward.

“Careful,” Yusuf says, his voice like honey running over warm wood and Nicolo pulls his hands back abruptly and presses them to his chest; not because he is afraid of getting too close to the flames and being burned, but because he was not aware of Yusuf watching him.

To cover up his strange reaction, he says with a shrug as calm as possible: “It is not as if the burns would remain.”

There is a half-hearted snort. “Fine, go ahead. But even if death refuses to encircle us in the final embrace and neither swords nor other things leave traces on our skin, we shouldn't be careless with our abilities.” The scraping starts again, albeit more clearly than before and Nicolo recognizes in the certainty of Yusuf's set lines that he is still preoccupied with their immortality.

“I wasn't planning to...” Nicolo starts, somehow feeling the need to defend himself and make clear to Yusuf that he is no longer so wasteful with his never-ending life. Not anymore. “The fire...I know where it is, so I wouldn't have...” He breaks off with a slight sigh.

“Are you missing a word?” Yusuf asks and Nicolo is about to throw his hands in the air or roll his eyes in frustration. He and Yusuf have been traveling together for several years now and after an initial, hostile refusal they began to teach each other their languages and learn about each other's culture – Nicolo apparently more than Yusuf. And even if Nicolo is no longer sure of his life, Yusuf is now the only constant that he is sure of. His beliefs have caused so much suffering and death and the overwhelming feelings of guilt about his past actions have never disappeared and Nicolo hopes they never will either. Because it is important to learn from mistakes and he wants nothing more than to be better in the future, to do good, to prevent humanity from continuing to destroy itself.

Despite all the effort Nicolo still has problems with Arabic now and then and his heavy accent has never improved, but he tries. And he likes the thought that he and Yusuf have a language of their own no one else can understand; a wild mix of Arabic and Ligurian of which the familiarity now is a comforting aspect.

“Nicolo?” Yusuf asks and puts his sketchbook and charcoal aside, clothes rustling as he leans forward to concentrate completely on Nicolo, and he can practically feel Yusuf's gaze on him.

In contrast to Yusuf, Nicolo is not particularly poetic and has difficulty putting his thoughts and feelings into words, while Yusuf utters wonderful words about everything with an ease that always overwhelms Nicolo.

“No, I am not missing a word. I...” Nicolo reaches for his sword, which he has put down next to him, and pulls the hilt onto his lap to give his fingers something to do. How can he express what concerns him best when he doesn't exactly know what it is? But for Yusuf he is ready to try and raises his gaze to stare in the direction he suspects Yusuf to be based on the sound of his breathing. He hears Yusuf's breath hitching and fears looking far past his travel companion, but Nicolo doesn't look down. When talking to people he looks down most of the time so as not to inadvertently look somewhere that would be rude or very strange. But he wants to make Yusuf feel like he is talking _to_ him and not just telling him something. After a few heartbeats Yusuf exhales shakly and Nicolo presses his lips together in concern. Could he have offended Yusuf in any way? Maybe he should look down and not try to look at a man he cannot see.

He tilts his head and is amazed to hear Yusuf's voice again. “No, don't! Don't look away...” he asks him hoarsely somehow and Nicolo blinks exactly three times, his cheeks are getting warmer, but he obeys and drums the hilt of his sword with his index finger. “This is the first time you have looked at me, you know.”

“I'm probably looking at a bush a long way past you,” Nicolo comments dryly, but can't stop the slight heart flutter in his chest. “Actually, I can't even _look at_ you.”

“You don't have to be able to see to look at someone, Nicolo,” Yusuf points out and Nicolo is fascinated by the warm timbre of his voice. _It's not wood_ , Nicolo thinks. _It's honey on hot coal_. “And your eyes...” Yusuf takes another deep breath and Nicolo frowns in confusion.

“What about my eyes?”

“Their color is...impossible to grasp.” A branch cracks in the fire as flames consume it, it is the only thing filling the resulting silence. Nicolo may not be able to see what colours look like, but he told Yusuf once that he would still use impressions to make pictures of them. And when Yusuf takes the floor again, Nicolo forgets how to breathe properly because Yusuf remembers it exactly: “As cold and crystal clear as the air is after the night and yet as warm and safe as the leading moonlight or the sun at dawn. As determined as the blade of a sword and yet as deep as the sea and as sweeping as a flowing brook. As wide as wild forests and alive like precious gemstones from distant lands.” He makes an embarrassed sound. “Forgive me, I've wandered off.”

Nicolo's tongue needs a few tries to form coherent words. “It...I didn't mind.” And he really didn't. Just the opposite and that is even more frightening. “Thank you. For...” He makes an indefinable movement with one hand to include what Yusuf just has told him about his eyes.

So far, Yusuf is the only one who has treated him like a normal person and if Nicolo was skeptical and suspicious about it in the past, he is now incredibly grateful for it. Shortly after they stopped killing each other, Yusuf asked him how someone like him got to such a place.

Because Nicolo was born blind, he had a disadvantage from the beginning and even if his mother loved him, she had no objection when his father sent him to a monastery to get rid of the shame and burden of the family. Nicolo has to admit that it wasn't particularly bad in the monastery, much better than in his home in any case, but when the pope's reputation flooded the country, he left the monastery behind too. After all he had nothing to lose and was tired of feeling pity, scorn and above all disgust. Most underestimate the importance of the other senses of a blind person, so Nicolo quickly developed his own variant of sword fighting and took part in battles, was more than aware that he could fall any time and maybe he wanted to. In his darkest moments, Nicolo wasn't afraid that he could die soon. It filled him with relief.

How the bitter irony managed that is now obvious, but Nicolo hasn't had these thoughts for a long time and has begun to accept the inevitable.

Instead of treating him as someone weaker, Yusuf treated him like a human being despite their hostility. He did not talk over him, did not stutter around embarrassingly when using terms like “see” and “eyes” and waited to see first if Nicolo could do something alone before offering help, and in such a subtle way that Nicolo's pride wasn't hurt.

“Why are you treating me like your equal?” Nicolo had asked him one night, irritated by the normal treatment he received from Yusuf.

“Anyone who manages to kill me several times is more than my equal,” Yusuf had replied with a heard grin and Nicolo had let himself be carried away with a short laugh, which had been more of a loud exhale. “But there is no reason why I shouldn't treat you as an equal. Having no eyesight is not a weakness, but an intention of the Creator and every intention has a goal. Your goal may be to teach people to see without using their eyes.”

And with that the subject was off the table. However, Nicolo doesn't mind that they speak now, between the remaining heat of the day and the coming cold of the night, indirectly because of his blindness.

“Is that the reason for your annoyance?” With this question Yusuf catches him unprepared and Nicolo bites his lower lip, waits whether Yusuf will explain his words in more detail or let Nicolo find out the meaning behind them. “That I indicated by my warning about the fire that you couldn't find your own way around?”

“I'm not angry,” Nicolo says weakly, but doesn't deny the reason given by Yusuf. “I am...hurt,” he admits, regardless of how childish it sounds out loud and how silly it actually is.

“Hurt?” Yusuf repeats and seems to take it personally. “It wasn't my intention to hurt you, Nicolo. Will you tell me what hurt you, so I won't do it again?”

God, why does Yusuf make it so incredibly difficult for Nicolo to ignore the feelings that are becoming more and more manifest and clinging to his heart? The man Nicolo once called filthy heathen has such a big heart and an even greater kindness that Nicolo does not deserve.

“It hurt me that you assumed I would inadvertently put my hands in the flames, even though we have been traveling together for years and you have seen that I can find my way around our open camps despite my lack of sight.” Nicolo doesn't even know exactly what caused his hurt until this very moment. But now that he is about to express himself, he realizes. “And it hurt me because you treated me like everyone else does.” _And you're not like everyone else_.

That gives him a sharp inhalation of his counterpart. “Then I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Believe me when I say that it was not my intention to make you feel like I was on the level of the despicable individuals we have met. When you reached out your hands, for a brief moment I was taken by the concern you might cause yourself pain and...” This time, Yusuf is the one who doesn't finish his sentence.

But Nicolo understands him and his knowledge makes him forget his sword and curl his lips in a small smile. “I don't like it when you are in pain either, Yusuf. And I thank you for your care.” If their roles had been reversed, he would most likely have acted the same way, because Nicolo hates hearing Yusuf suffer and die. And he hates the minutes of waiting even more, during which he is helplessly condemned to crouch next to Yusuf and pray for his return.

“Do you accept my apology?”

“It is not necessary to a-”

“Do you accept my apology, Nicolo? I couldn't bear to know that I caused you inconvenience without apologizing.”

Nicolo gives in because he secretly couldn't deny Yusuf anything. “If it is that important to you: Of course, I accept your apology.”

In fact, Yusuf seems more relaxed afterwards, the movements in which he picks up his sketchbook again and presses the charcoal onto the paper are milder and more cautious and Nicolo loses himself in the noises of drawing until he hears Yusuf stop. The breath of his companion changes to the brief hesitation that every person makes when they want to start saying something.

“Yes?” Nicolo notes that he takes pleasure in looking in Yusuf's direction when talking to him, because Yusuf would never mock him if he doesn't look directly into his face.

Yusuf laughs surprised when Nicolo asks him to speak before he has even opened his mouth and Nicolo digs his fingernails into his palm. The exuberant laugh of his companion is so full and enthusiastic that he can feel its depth right up to his seat and he wonders whether Yusuf's laugh sounds the same when Nicolo's ear is against his chest. He shakes his head slightly at himself. _Concentrate on the conversation and not Yusuf's chest or his laugh, which seems to contain Yusuf's whole being...pull yourself together!_

“How do you do that?” Yusuf is still laughing and Nicolo's surroundings are illuminated by the sound, although he cannot see anything.

Nicolo tears himself away from Yusuf's laugh. “How do I do what? You have to be more accurate.”

In an attempt to calm down Yusuf puts a hand on his mouth and muffles his laughter and Nicolo wants to tell him that he should never limit his laughter again. “How do you orient yourself exactly? The fire, when you spoke to me, before I even started. You often move so confidently that one could think you can see everything crystal clear. And I know that you rely on your other senses, I was able to observe that but...how exactly?”

Nicolo gives himself a little time to think about the answer to this question and Yusuf doesn't urge him to rush, spends the time in which Nicolo thinks, with continuing to sketch as if he wouldn't mind waiting in the least.

“Because I was born blind, I learned early on to rely on something other than my eyes...” he begins slowly, pausing carefully and resting his head on the ball of his right hand. “My sense of touch, my sense of smell, my sense of taste, but especially my ears. My ears are...my eyes.” It is an awkward phrase, but it's exactly like that. “Footsteps, the sound of breath, voices, laughter, all of these can tell me what situation I am in and what to expect. How many people are around me, whether they have hostile intentions, where they are and what they're doing. But of course, I can't tell everything with my hearing and when it's particularly loud, the noises can be annoying and confusing and not very helpful.” Embarrassed he rubs his neck with his free hand. “You saw what can happen on marketplaces.”

“Yes.” No judgement or condemnation, just a plain confirmation of Nicolo's statement. “So, then the noises are...too much? Too much at once to process and pack into a picture?”

“Exactly,” Nicolo says, astonished by Yusuf's comprehension, but Yusuf is a quick learner, understands language concepts effortlessly, while Nicolo still has no idea which language he has to learn this time. “It's like a mosaic in which a few stones are left over and do not fit into the overall picture. And these stones cause irritation.”

“Hm,” Yusuf makes thoughtful. “Can you recognize me by sounds?”

“Not just based on sounds,” Nicolo replies without hesitation and would like to sink into the ground afterwards because he practically threw the answer at Yusuf.

But this doesn't seem to bother him. “Really? Can you give me an example?” Yusuf inquiries curiously.

Nicolo is pretty sure his cheeks burn, but he has always been honest. “You smell like charcoal and cypress trees,” he replies quietly. “And citrus fruits. Most of the time you walk with lively steps, which are always smooth and careful. And you have a...how do you say? Radiance? Yes, a cheerful and energetic radiance that I can feel when I'm around you.”

“Oh,” comes it breathlessly from Yusuf. “Would you mind if I draw you?”

Nicolo swallows but smiles. “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not really a history "nerd" and still ask myself how I could get through my final history exam with a very good grade, so...it is probably illogical, I'm sorry :D (Although everything works in my imagination :D)
> 
> The next chapter will be about the torture in the lab of Kozak, so brace yourself ;)
> 
> For snippets of the following chapters and new stories hit me up on tumblr lovelikedestiny :) 
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3 ;3


	3. The taste of fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your eyesight is still not existent, interesting.” She talks to herself as she has already done it for the last few hours and neither Joe nor Nicky show a reaction. That changes however when Nicky feels her body heat next to him and rubber gloves grab his face. “The blind rely largely on their hearing. I wonder if it will affect you, if this basis is taken away from you.”
> 
> Panic makes Nicky's hands go numb and he jerks his head out of her grip, when he realizes that she is reaching for an instrument, metal rattles at his side. “What? No! Please stop! No!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> It is time for a little bit of torture in Kozak's lab.
> 
> And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all kudos and comments - you are amazing! <3 ;3
> 
> Velvetneedles did an amazing job as a beta and all mistakes left belong to me and my pack :D

With a violent gasp Nicky awakes for the...he has lost count the number of times, and incidentally hears Joe's relieved sigh and the mumbled “Thank God”. He has become so used to the presence of his great love that he automatically focuses on the things he associates with Joe when walking into a room. The relief that floods through him, simply because Joe is around, is overwhelming.

“Ouch,” he finally says, leaning the back of his head exhausted against the chair he is tied to and which could really be more comfortable. For the others, it's a flash of suffocating darkness into sudden colour and light before the surroundings begin to take shape, but since Nicky can't see anything, it feels a little different for him. Every time he returns to the world of the living, he has the feeling that invisible cobwebs cling to him, which previously enveloped him and only when these have detached from him, he is completely back. In addition, Joe is with him most of the time to greet him with mumbled caresses and kisses and the longing for Joe's touch, even if it is just the brushing of their hands, causes Nicky a painful stitch in the chest.

Speaking of stitch. Like the doctor who rammed a scalpel into his heart a good felt ten minutes ago.

“Are you okay, _habibi_?” Joe sounds so tired it tightens Nicky's chest, but nonetheless he holds on to the incredible wave of warm affection that comes over him at Joe's question.

Nicky turns his face in Joe's direction. “Now that I hear your voice, yes. And you? Has the effect of the poison diminished?”

The doctor without morals didn't explain what she injected Joe exactly, but Nicky was forced to overhear Joe screaming in pain. He prays that the poison is dissipated.

Joe grunts softly as he changes position on the stretcher as best as he can. “It doesn't burn like it did before. The pain is bearable, so I guess it will be gone soon.”

He cannot ignore the lump forming in his throat. “I hate all of this,” Nicky whispers, slipping into their mix of ancient dialects, trying not to pull against the restraints, because it doesn't get them anywhere, except leading to frustration and even more exhaustion. And they'll need their strength when Andy and the others come to get them out of this bloody lab. “I hate that you suffer, and I can't do anything about it.”

Everything smells clinical and fake, is cold and repellent and Nicky doesn't like the way the voices echo off the walls and how the annoying noises of the devices have accompanied them for hours.

Joe's voice is dejected and weak, but gentle and comforting. “I know, my heart. It fills my soul with agony to know you next to me without being able to hold you in my arms.”

“It was clear that you had to let the romantic out again,” Nicky teases with a grin and Joe's laugh is the anchor he needs.

“I love you, Nicolo,” he says tenderly.

“You have my heart and soul,” Nicky replies and wants to say more, but closes his mouth when he hears approaching steps. Joe, who reads from his behavior that they are getting company again, groans dramatically.

“Ah, I see you are among the living again,” is the first thing Kozak says and the disgusting objectivity of her tone makes Nicky shudder. He doesn't answer and is glad that he doesn't have to see her awful face. Because of his blindness he even has a perfect excuse to stare around apathetic, but a small voice in his head tells him to stay vigilant.

So far Kozak has shown no interest in the fact that he is blind and has kept the blindness even in immortality, but it is only a matter of time because this woman is absolutely obsessed with examining them in every detail. The icy chunk of fear in his stomach is familiar to him, wouldn't it be the first time that someone had taken advantage of his disability, but fear is never easy to swallow.

“Your eyesight is still not existent, interesting.” She talks to herself as she has already done it for the last few hours and neither Joe nor Nicky show a reaction. That changes however when Nicky feels her body heat next to him and rubber gloves grab his face. “The blind rely largely on their hearing. I wonder if it will affect you, if this basis is taken away from you.”

Panic makes Nicky's hands go numb and he jerks his head out of her grip, when he realizes that she is reaching for an instrument, metal rattles at his side. “What? No! Please stop! No!”

In the scope of his lifetime, it has happened that his hearing was damaged in a fight and Nicky would do anything to avoid having to experience this feeling again. For him his ears partially replace his non-existent eyesight and if he loses his hearing, there is nothing to cling to – then he is completely on his own, as if he would be the only person left in the world. Since Joe saw centuries ago what it can do to him when he can no longer hear anything and how Nicky feels about it, he has doggedly made sure that nobody gets near Nicky's ears in fights.

Only this time they are tied to chairs.

“Hey! Get your filthy hands off of him!” Joe yells and throws himself against the restraints. “Leave him alone, fuck!”

Kozak ignores him, just hisses when Nicky almost bites her finger. “Hold him tight,” she instructs those who own the heavy breath near the door and Nicky tries to free his arms, almost dislocating both shoulders as he dodges the doctor's hands and then two more pairs of hands grip him, brutally pressing his head on one side and holding him there.

“Please, please, stop! No! NO!” In the face of what Kozak is up to he doesn't care that he is pleading and begging and whimpering. They can do anything to him, but not that. _Anything_ , just not that!

Joe throws insults after the heads of Kozak and the other two, his words are filled with furious anger and when Nicky's lover realizes that she cannot be stopped, he begins to plead too. “Stop it! I'm begging you! Do some tests with me, but please...please...!”

“I'll be happy to come back to the offer later,” Kozak says and suddenly a piercing, all-consuming pain digs into Nicky's skull as something long and sharp penetrates his ear canal with force and he makes a barely human sounding noise, struggling against the grip that turns his head on the other side while Joe cries out in despair. Nicky is certain that he vomits as his remaining eardrum is destroyed as well.

The world loses its sound and Nicky loses the world.

He opens his mouth and screams, or he thinks he is screaming, because there is nothing around him. Cruel, all-devouring nothing.

And he is alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is the first time they meet Booker and it will be a little longer than this chap :)
> 
> Stay safe! :3
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3 ;3


	4. Tracks in the snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want something too?” Sebastien is not sure why he is asking the quiet man, but he has made him food and a Le Livre shows his thanks.
> 
> Nicholas tilts his head slightly towards Sebastien without taking his eyes off the fire. “Are you talking to me?” he asks gently.
> 
> “Do you see anyone else here I am looking at?” Is this guy trying to be funny in some way?
> 
> He is focused on Nicholas, so he doesn't notice how Joseph turns around vigilantly from where he is handing Andrea another cup or how she grabs the handle of her ax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for your kudos and comments! I cannot believe how many of you like this story and smiled like an idiot reading your feedback :3
> 
> I really, really like Booker, but I made him kind of an asshole in this chapter, sooo :D In his defence: He is confused and scared and more alone than he has ever been in his entire life (thanks Nicky for summing it up perfectly :D )
> 
> I can't thank velvetneedles enough for beta reading! :3 As always, all remaining mistakes belong to me :D

With a full stomach, an old blanket around his shoulders and clean clothes Sebastien sits in front of the fireplace in the old hut they will spend the night in and tries to wrap his mind around the fact that he was hanged, died, came back to life and died again. Three days long.

And he ate a crow.

In retrospect the thought is utterly gross, and he would definitely be sick if he wouldn't be too tired to worry about what he tried to survive. However, he quickly noticed that not only can he not die by hanging, but also comes back after frostbite and starvation, although it is not very pleasant.

After somehow getting out of his situation, he wandered around in the icy winter of Russia just to get home, but he had no clues. And now the three people he has seen in his dreams, despite the drowning woman, found him, told him everything they know in French and gave him food, clothes and a shelter.

Sebastien doesn't know whether to cry or laugh hysterically – maybe he will just do both. Later when the others are asleep and cannot watch him.

Andrea, who doesn't look very much like a woman, polishes her ax by the door. Possibly a warning that he shouldn't try to run away from them again like he did before in his confused state, possibly she is just keeping watch. Everything is possible with her, her serious face doesn't tell him much, but she is a beast with an ax, Sebastien can say that now from experience. He passed out when he saw his half-severed leg at which she aimed to stop his escape.

Joseph, on the other hand, kept him company at the dinner the other man served them, and even told him some really bad jokes that made Sebastien laugh. What can he say, his humor is dark – now it's literal gallows humor. So far Joseph has been the most likable to him, he is not too shy to skilfully wrap him up in conversations and for the first time Sebastien almost feels normal.

Right next to him by the fire is Nicholas, who has not said much so far, except his name and a “You're welcome” when distributing the food. His French is so strongly accented that it was difficult for Sebastien to understand him at first, but that may also be because he hasn't spoken to anyone in months. Except with himself and he is not a good conversationalist.

“Sebastien, do you want something to warm your stomach?” Joseph asks him from the makeshift table and lifts a suspicious bottle and a small cup.

Sebastien nods slowly, he hasn't had anything alcoholic for a long time, but if he can't die and heals quickly, the effects of the alcohol shouldn't last as long as usual. “Thank you.” He takes the cup from Joseph and looks at Nicholas who stares unmoved into the flames. “Do you want something too?” Sebastien is not sure why he is asking the quiet man, but he has made him food and a Le Livre shows his thanks.

Nicholas tilts his head slightly towards Sebastien without taking his eyes off the fire. “Are you talking to me?” he asks gently.

“Do you see anyone else here I am looking at?” Is this guy trying to be funny in some way?

He is focused on Nicholas, so he doesn't notice how Joseph turns around vigilantly from where he is handing Andrea another cup or how she grabs the handle of her ax.

“No,” Nicholas replies honestly and Sebastien snorts derogatory. Thousands of such guys were in Napoleon's army; making stupid comments because they thought they were funny but didn't dare to talk to one face to face. “I cannot see anything.”

“You can't see anything?” Sebastien repeats incredulously, looking over his shoulder at Joseph and Andrea, who suddenly have hard facial expressions. “Does that mean you are a mental cripple?”

Joseph makes a dark growl that Sebastien doesn't notice either because he continues to stare at Nicholas. “No, neither my mind nor my body are affected. Well, except my eyes.” Nicholas changes his position so that his upper body is turned towards Sebastien, including his gentle face but his eyes are on the floor. “I was born blind and was accordingly blind when I died for the first time.”

Reluctantly Sebastien turns his eyes to Andrea, who got up meanwhile, because apparently, she seems to be something like the leader of this troop. “Isn't he then something like a...burden?” he whispers to her and Joseph takes several steps towards him threateningly.

“If you use this word ever again, I will tear your tongue out and force you to eat it, you frog-eater!” He growls and the blazing fire in his dark eyes makes clear that Sebastien shouldn't try it. He raises his hands defensively, still holding his cup in one.

“I am blind, but not deaf,” Nicholas informs him, slightly amused, a small smile tugs at his lips and Sebastien's eyes get even bigger as he reaches back and takes Joseph's hand, their fingers crossing meaningfully.

Two men...and one of them is blind...that...what did Sebastien get into?

Andrea takes position next to Joseph who kneels next to Nicholas and wraps his arms around him. “Nicolo could easily wipe the floor with your ass,” she says, unimpressed to his obvious shock. “So, you're technically more of a burden right now.”

“But...he is blind!” Sebastien brings out stuttering as if Andrea had forgotten this fact.

“And you are stupid,” she replies and points to the door with her ax. “Either you get a grip on yourself or you disappear and get killed miserably until the wolves start nibbling on your frozen corpse. So, do we have a problem?”

Unsettled Sebastien closes his mouth again, stares at the cup in his hand and empties it with one gulp. The stuff burns on the way to his stomach, but once there it causes a wonderful warmth.

He lets his gaze slide to Joseph and Nicholas, takes note of Joseph's murderous expression daring him to say something as he takes Nicholas's face and kisses him directly on the mouth. Nicholas chuckles softly but doesn't break away from the other man and runs his fingers through Joseph's thick beard, not as affected by Sebastien's reaction as the other two.

Then he looks back at Andrea, who impatiently pierces him with her icy eyes and apparently waits for his answer.

“No,” he finally says meekly, isn't eager to wander around in the freezing cold for months and the three saved his life.

“Good,” Andrea says short and moves to return to her chair by the door.

Nicholas' voice stops her. “You owe me a cookbook. I won the bet.”

Andrea remains. “You didn't. You bet he couldn't take your blindness. But the Frenchman is still here.”

White teeth flash in a dark beard as Joseph grins, not stopping to caress Nicholas's cheek with his thumb. “Did you look at him, Andromache? He looks like a pile of misery and has already finished his drink. For me this is very obvious the definition of 'not taking.'”

For a long moment there is silence and Andrea shoots lightning bolts from her eyes at Nicholas, who looks in her direction but not at her face and gives the satisfied impression of a man already knowing he has won. “Fine,” Andrea growls and twirls her ax around in her hand, which scares Sebastien to hell. “You're a little shit, Nicolo.”

“I love you too,” Nicholas replies amused and cuddles up to Joseph, who laughs as if he hadn't been about to tear Sebastien's tongue out a few seconds ago.

Clearing his throat Sebastien lifts his cup and asks weakly. “Can I get another one?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Nicky want a cookbook from Andy? Yes, he does, because how could he miss the opportunity of hearing Joe's soft voice reading a recipe to him? :D
> 
> If anyone wants to chat about Nicky and Joe and TOG or just in general, throw a rock at me or hit me up on tumblr as @lovelikedestiny :)
> 
> The next chapter will be a short one about Nicky and Joe and their fight with Keane.
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3 ;3


	5. All for him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ring of the explosion lingers in his ears, but he can hear and that's all that matters. When he inevitably remembers the last few hours, what happened in the laboratory, he wants to curl up in a ball, press his hands over his ears and forget how lost he felt. How lost he _is_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> The response this story gets is amazing and I am totally flashed and blown away and...wow! Thank you so much! <3  
> And a big thank you to velvetneedles for beta reading this chapter! :3 All mistakes left are my own :D

The tear gas tastes bitter on his tongue and irritates his airways. The cough works its way up his throat and leaves him panting. He can faintly hear Booker calling out to them that they are leaving and despite being deeply hurt by Booker's betrayal, he cannot help being relieved that Andy and Nile are getting out of the danger zone.

In return, they get the company of Keane, whose hard, self-confident steps are heading towards them without hesitation. Somewhere near him is Joe, his breathing tells Nicky that he hasn't regained consciousness, but at least he's alive. Trying to get Keane's attention away from Joe and give the others time, he supports himself coughing on his forearms and moves his head back and forth to get a feel for the room.

The ring of the explosion lingers in his ears, but he can hear and that's all that matters. When he inevitably remembers the last few hours, what happened in the laboratory, he wants to curl up in a ball, press his hands over his ears and forget how lost he felt. How lost he _is_.

But his feelings are not important, when it comes to protecting Joe so he carefully locks the emotions in a box and focuses on rationality; proceeding rationally has always been one of his strengths and is particularly important in fights because feelings are distracting.

The air moves around him and Keane's body heat forms a different shape as he shifts his weight onto one leg and Nicky is too slow to avoid the kick in his face. He coughs and lands on his back, breathing through the pain, which quickly subsides and he gets up again with clenched teeth, which earns him a hard kick in the side. Is something breaking? Possible, because Keane shows no mercy.

For his next move though Nicky is prepared. He orients himself on the sound of the air from the breathing mask, the smell of sweat and light aftershave that surrounds Keane and the wave of air blowing towards him as Keane pulls up his leg for another kick.

With years of practice he evades the attack and brings Keane down with a simple but effective grip, rams his fist in his face and is unable to take a second blow because Keane blocks him and kicks him backwards.

He crashes into a container, registers Joe's cough and buys time to collect himself, knowing that Joe will rush to his aid. But the sound with which Keane hits Joe in the larynx is not an illusion and Joe chokes helplessly.

Nicky's entire being is consumed with immense concern for his partner and he doesn't think about it, throws himself forward on the source of Keane's breathing, which is louder now without mask, to prevent him from reaching Joe. By sheer luck he catches Keane's upper body, hangs on his arm and only feels being spun around before a knee digs into his chest.

Nicky's mouth opens automatically as the air escapes him and the barrel of a gun slips mercilessly into his open jaws. Nicky feels the metallic weight, the gunpowder on his tongue and his eyes start to water as the barrel reaches his throat. The last thing he hears isn't Joe's horrified outcry.

The last thing he hears is the final _click_ and then a searing pain splits his skull and obliterates everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is very short, but therefore the next one will be longer ;)  
> Next up is some disgustingly sweet fluff before Joe sees for the first time what happens if Nicky loses his ability to hear.
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	6. The world in your hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nicolo, my heart...” Yusuf presses Nicolo closer to him, loses himself in the feeling of skin on skin and glances down to take a look at him. A small wrinkle has formed between his eyebrows, which Nicolo tends to do when he is worrying intensely about something. Yusuf smooths it with his thumb. “How could I mind that you give me all that you have with devotion? That you trust me so much, allowing me to share the bed with you and to love and be loved by you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Yes, the next chapter is already there, wohooo! Because the last one was so short and my beta is like the Flash! :D  
> Thank you so much, velvetneedles! You're a great help! <3

A delicate touch on his cheek wakes Yusuf slowly from a comfortable, restful sleep and he cannot bring himself to open his eyes, wants to linger a little longer in the protective darkness behind his lids. But his lips twist into a smile as Nicolo continues to dance his fingertips carefully over Yusuf's face.

“Good morning, _tesoro_ ,” Nicolo whispers, who of course has sensed that Yusuf is awake now and he laughs softly when Nicolo tugs at his beard.

“Every morning with you is more than good,” Yusuf whipsers back and squints hard against the morning light in their small room. “I would stay in this bed for the rest of my life if it meant waking up with you in my arms.”

Nicolo's soft hair curls beneath his ears and is wonderfully disheveled from sleep. Yusuf's heart opens when his lover grins descreetly and presses a kiss on his bare shoulder. “I doubt that we have so many coins with us to be able to rent the room that long.”

“We would definitely find a way,” Yusuf assures him with a grin, but they both know that every word of his affection is true and there are moments like this in which Yusuf looks at Nicolo and can't believe how so much love for one person can fit into his body.

“We sure would,” Nicolo says with a slight snort and wraps his pale arm around Yusuf, a beautiful contrast to his own bronze skin. How much it itches Yusuf in his fingers to paint this body, which easily overshadows every Greek and Roman statue, but they have to save their money for a passage by ship and Yusuf has to be content with the sketchbook that Nicolo gave him a few weeks ago. Most pages are already filled with the love of his life, but it doesn't occure to Yusuf to stop drawing Nicolo.

Grumbling pleasantly, Yusuf buries his nose in Nicolo's hair when he lays his head on Yusuf's chest, just above his heart. Nicolo once told him that if he couldn't see Yusuf, he would have to keep each of Yusuf's touches in order to get an image of him. Yusuf can't understand exactly how Nicolo feels, but the small, happy smile on Nicolo's face whenever he listens to Yusuf's heartbeat tells him more than any words.

Although his senses are not as refined as Nicolo's, Yusuf notices that something is preoccupying his lover and makes a questioning noise. He slides his hand down Nicolo's back to where the sheet covers the rest of his slender, wiry body.

“And you really don't mind that... I cannot look you in the eye when...” Yusuf waits patiently, has learned not to rush Nicolo when he is looking for a correct description of his thoughts. “...when we make love?”

Yusuf could cry because Nicolo uses precisely this formulation for their physical union and sounds so insecure, so innocent as if Yusuf had dived into his warm tightness for the first time yesterday and had bathed in the delight of giving Nicolo pleasure and desire. As if he couldn't be sure whether he of all people deserves Yusuf's love and even if they've already had such conversations several times, Yusuf is no less upset that Nicolo now and then thinks that way. Now and then he doubts himself, because he doesn't have the gift to see the world like most of the population.

“Nicolo, my heart...” Yusuf presses Nicolo closer to him, loses himself in the feeling of skin on skin and glances down to take a look at him. A small wrinkle has formed between his eyebrows, which Nicolo tends to do when he is worrying intensely about something. Yusuf smooths it with his thumb. “How could I mind that you give me all that you have with devotion? That you trust me so much, allowing me to share the bed with you and to love and be loved by you?”

Nicolo is by no means weak and - is in fact - the strongest person Yusuf knows, but he is also kind and good-hearted and blind. It presents an opportunity for the scum that this world has to offer to take advantage of him. And the very idea of how someone could use Nicolo's blindness to advantage of him makes him sick.

That's why he was so hit and frozen at first when Nicolo willingly opened his heart to him and trusted that Yusuf would not take advantage of his lack of eyesight as they drew kisses on each other's skin by candlelight and stripped of their clothes with passionately clumsy fingers.

Nicolo cannot give him a greater gift than his sincere trust.

“Yesterday, when me made love, I wished to see you,” Nicolo says quietly and the wistful smile on his face softens his voice. “I wished I could have seen the candlelight pour over you and underline the incredible warmth of your heart residing in your voice and your laugh and the contours of your face. How when you tower over me, the moonlight illuminates your figure and turns you into one of the artworks that you always describe with excitement. How the sweat I could taste on your skin made your curls shine and get damp, so that I could have watched how I brushed them out of your face."

Deeply touched Yusuf presses his lips on Nicolo's forehead and breathes his scent: sun and bread; the smell of warm bread reminding you of home. “People call me a poet, but they have no idea with how few words you can make my heart stop and take my breath away.” He doesn't care how husky and strained he sounds. Nicolo can easily filter out the exact emotions from his voice. “And it pains me to know what kind of yearning lives in your chest. If I could I would give you my eyesight and be happy forever in the dark, if it meant giving you back what you miss.”

“No. No, Yusuf.” Nicolo's breath ghosts over his collarbone and Yusuf pulls back as Nicolo moves his head to focus his bright eyes on his face. Yusuf can understand why Nicolo usually keeps his eyes down, but it's a shame that those incredibly captivating mirrors of his soul don't get the recognition they deserve. And since Nicolo knows that it means a lot to Yusuf when he looks up during their conversation, he often fixes his sightless eyes on his face or at least close to it so that Yusuf can admire them. “Even though I really appreciate that you are willing to do something like this, you shouldn't say that.”

He prevents Yusuf from protesting slightly with a raised index finger.

“Because even if I wish to see you sometimes, I don't miss my eyesight,” he explains and stretches to kiss Yusuf, misses his lips and chuckles suppressed. “And I _can_ see you, _habibi_ , as clearly as if I weren't blind. I see you in the sounds you make while drawing and the exclamations you give when we make love or when you discover something giving you joy. I see you in your big, calloused hands, which are always warm and can swing a sword with deadly certainty, although they also help me drift away with their gentleness. I see you, Yusuf. In a way no one else can understand, thus having my image of you all to myself. Without having to share it.”

Yusuf covers his eyes groaning with one arm, but laughs. “If you're not careful, Nicolo, we won't get out of bed today.”

“Who says that wasn't my intention?” Purposefully Nicolo's hands grab his face and Yusuf follows this movement, rolling over Nicolo with a grin, whose lips are already waiting for his mouth hungrily.

-*-

The incident happens in the late afternoon when they're following a road down to the harbor, keeping a reasonable distance between themselves. Nicolo doesn't walk slowly enough to attract the attention of outsiders, but Yusuf knows his deliberate, carefully considered movements and the minimal hesitation in his steps. As always, the former priest is guided by Yusuf's own steps, tilting his head towards him in order to be able to judge better by his sounds where the bumps in the road are and where it changes direction.

Yusuf has learned a long time ago to read the signs in Nicolo's behavior telling him that he needs help and right now his support is not necessary. Nicolo skillfully evades the few people they meet and once again Yusuf admires how easily Nicolo can adapt to an environment he cannot see.

“I smell the sea,” Nicolo says with a smile. The sun dyes his hair a honey-brown and Yusuf only owes it to his self-control that he doesn't take Nicolo's hand. “There will be a thunderstorm today. The air is dancing.”

“Then we should hurry up with our visit to the port. I don't want to get wet.” Yusuf detests it when his hair accidentally gets wet; it takes forever to dry and when it is, it stands up like wool. However, Nicolo then finds the structure of his hair even more fascinating and spends hours touching the freshly dried curls. And for that Yusuf is willing to sacrifice his hair for rain from time to time. But not today.

“Hm,” Nicolo hums his approval.

They pass a scaffolding on which several men are working at a house and Nicolo's bright eyes glide in concentration in the direction of the construction. Although he hears the men and the noises that the tools produce, he cannot possibly say where the danger is coming from when someone shouts: “Look out! The beam!”

A beam has slipped out of the hands of two men and it rushes towards Nicolo.

“Nicolo!” Yusuf starts moving immediately, although he knows that he will be too slow to reach his lover in time.

Alerted by the warning shouts of the men and Yusuf, Nicolo backs away a little, preventing him from being hit by the entire beam, but the end of it hits his head with a dull, loud noise and throws him to the ground.

Next to Nicolo, Yusuf falls on his knees, his hands are already grabing his face, heart pounding in his throat. “Nicolo! Nicolo? _Habibi_ , answer me. Nicolo?” Worried because he doesn't get an answer, he feels for Nicolo's wrist and lets out a gush of air when he can feel his pulse. “Nicolo?”

The beam didn't kill him, but certainly caused damage from the force of its impact. Yusuf hopes the injuries on Nicolo's head will heal quickly before people become suspicious. They don't seem that serious, the only blood is running out of Nicolo's ears and even if that indicates invisible injuries, it is better than if Nicolo's skull would be cracked open.

“Don't worry, he's fine.” Yusuf waves the workers away, a reassuring smile on his face and the men mumble and stare at him skeptically, but return to their work after Yusuf jokingly explains: “His incredibly thick skull is a blessing in disguise."  
  
When Nicolo's hands close around his wrists like vices, Yusuf laughs in relief. “You gave the men quite a shock, my heart. Get up before they think you got hurt more than I said.” He anticipates a dry snort and an even drier comment. Nothing like that comes.  
  
What he didn't expect, however, is the unbelievable panic on Nicolo's face and his hectic, panting breathing as if he couldn’t breathe properly. "Nicolo?" An icy hand grabs Yusuf's heart and squeezes it into its fist. "Nicolo, what is the matter?"  
  
Instead of answering, a choked, broken, low scream leaves Nicolo's lips and Yusuf curses and heaves him up, only to stumble into a remote alley. Nicolo is like a dead weight at his side and as soon as Yusuf lets him sink back to the ground, he crouches, hands pressed to the sides of his head and rocks back and forth.  
  
"Nicolo!" Yusuf crouches down next to him, touches his shoulders and believes he is suffocating in the helplessness that constricts his chest. “Nicolo, talk to me! What ... what is it? "  
  
Does he not heal? Has his head been damaged so badly that it won't heal? Does their healing have a limit?  
  
Stammering interrupted by sobs and whimpers comes from Nicolo, but Yusuf cannot understand a word and tries to lift Nicolo's head. “Please, _tesoro_ , what is it? Why are you holding your head, whe ... _oh_. "  
  
Where Nicolo's ears are. His ears! The blood from his ears, the lack of reactions to Yusuf's words - somehow the beam made sure that Nicolo couldn't hear anything. _My ears are ... my eyes_ , Nicolo had told him a long time ago in the glow of a fire. Yusuf's stomach sags three floors down. Because his hearing is damaged, Nicolo has lost his eyes.  
  
The suffering whimper spirals into a muffled howl as Nicolo buries his face in his knees. His hands are trembling and the fear that Nicolo emanates is palpable. Yusuf can do nothing but wait, comfort Nicolo with his presence and caress his forehead.  
  
After what felt like an eternity, which strained Yusuf's nerves to the limit of their endurance, a weak “Y-Yusuf?” emerges from Nicolo's knees.  
  
“Nicolo? I'm here, I'm here. Everything is fine.” This time Nicolo allows Yusuf to lift his face and the red-rimmed eyes are like a punch in the stomach. "You're not alone."  
  
With a wet sob, Nicolo stretches out his arms towards him and Yusuf doesn't need a second to pull his beloved into a bone-crushing embrace and hold him tightly as if he wanted to take Nicolo into his body and hide him from the world. He covers Nicolo's face with kisses, doesn't waste a thought on who might see them, because it's about Nicolo and there is nothing more important on earth.  
  
“I was completely alone,” says Nicolo into the fabric of Yusuf's robe. “You were gone and the nothingness was so overwhelming that it buried me under its force. I couldn't find you, Yusuf. I couldn't."  
  
"If you can't find me, be sure that I won't give up until I find you," whispers Yusuf, his cheek pressed against Nicolo's forehead. "Is ... Is it always like this for you when ...?" He does not name what happened.  
  
Nicolo shudders slightly and Yusuf rubs his back to dispel the horrors that are obviously still in Nicolo's bones. "Yes. And every time it's worse than before. I think my fear of it amplifies the effects it has anyway. And every time I say to myself: This will never happen again.” He laughs bitterly and shakily. "But it is impossible to predict the future."  
  
"It may be impossible to predict the future, but you can influence it." Yusuf makes the decision without having to think about it and the shape of his lover in his arms confirms it. “I swear to you, Nicolo, that I will do everything in my power to prevent this from happening again. Never again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...the last paragraph...bitter irony, huh? Uhm...yeah... :D  
> Next up is some bonding time between Booker and Nicky :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! :3
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	7. Safe in your presence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What gives you the decisive clue when it's me?" He takes his coffee and is disappointed that the drink isn't hot enough to burn his tongue. But lukewarm coffee is better than no coffee at all.
> 
> “You mean next to the smell of alcohol?” Nicky wants to know ironically.
> 
> Booker puffs out a laugh. "Idiot."
> 
> The mischievous grin that Nicky rarely shows lurks in the corners of his mouth. “You shuffle. And because you are taller and stronger built than the others, you move differently."
> 
> "Are you saying I'm fat?" Booker asks with a grin and takes another sip of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Here is some bonding time between Nicky and Booker - I just love the team as a family :D
> 
> All your comments and kudos are like hot chocolate! Thank you so much! <3
> 
> velvetneedles was so kind to beta read this chap, all remaining mistakes are my own! :3

Actually, Booker should have gotten used to the fact that Nicky could probably hear an earthworm sneeze and therefore, also knows for sure that someone has entered the kitchen where he is sitting and listening to music on the radio. But he hasn't gotten used to it.  
  
"Do you want to come with me to the market later, Book?" Nicky asks and Booker jumps and curses, which makes Nicky giggle. "I still need some ingredients for tonight's dinner."  
  
"Do you know that it's pretty creepy that you always know which of us is entering a room?" Booker pours himself a cup of coffee and inhales the bitter, strong scent deeply. He has set the limit that he waits until noon before drinking.  
  
Nicky turns off the radio and points to the vacant chair next to him; a clear request. "It's not scary, it's practical," he corrects Booker and looks him in the face after he has sat down. Joe may be a huge fan of Nicky doing this, because Nicky's eyes are oh so perfect and blah, blah, blah. And Andy may think it's great that Nicky doesn't hide his blindness and sticks to it. But it's kind of uncomfortable for Booker.  
  
Although Nicky can't see anything, his gaze is practically piercing and Booker is one hundred percent sure that Nicky's eyes would be more piercing if he  _could_ see. Nicky would probably be able to see the depths of your soul. And Booker's soul is too broken for that.  
  
He doesn't blame Nicky for doing this and shares the opinion of the others that it's good that Nicky isn't ashamed of something he shouldn't be ashamed of. Especially, at a time when humanity is slowly starting to open up to otherness.  
  
"What gives you the decisive clue when it's me?" He takes his coffee and is disappointed that the drink isn't hot enough to burn his tongue. But lukewarm coffee is better than no coffee at all.  
  
“You mean next to the smell of alcohol?” Nicky wants to know ironically.  
  
Booker puffs out a laugh. "Idiot."  
  
The mischievous grin that Nicky rarely shows lurks in the corners of his mouth. “You shuffle. And because you are taller and stronger built than the others, you move differently."  
  
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Booker asks with a grin and takes another sip of coffee.   
  
"If you continue to eat for three, you'll  _get_ fat,” Nicky says, blinking good-naturedly.  
  
Booker gasps in shock. “And whose fault is that? I can't help it, if you prepare such delicious food every evening!"  
  
"Right, blame the only blind man in the family!" Nicky complains, gesturing exaggeratedly with his hands. "Very fair, Booker."  
  
Out of sheer surprise the coffee finds its way into the wrong pipe and Booker chokes heavily. “ _Mon dieu_ ,” he croaks. “Did you just pull off the pity number, Nicky? I would have expected anything from you, but never that! I am forever shocked. My entire picture of you is shattered into a thousand pieces! I have a feeling I don't know you anymore!” In his dramatic monologue, Booker allows himself to deliberately drag out a few words and emphasize them in a funny way.  
  
Nicky laughs his soft, barely audible laugh that is more like an exhalation, seemingly quite amused by Booker's portrayal. “Drastic times call for drastic measures. Get used to it."  
  
Anyone who knows Nicky knows that under no circumstances would Nicky take advantage of the compassion of others to get what he wants. But this fun conversation with him is a pleasant change for Booker. "You would like that, huh?" 

When he first joined the Immortals, he had found it difficult to accept Nicky's blindness. As well as Joe's and Nicky's relationship, which had led to some tension. Booker considers himself very lucky that he found a second family in Andy, Joe and Nicky and that Nicky has not accused him of his behavior to this day, even though Booker was really an asshole.  
  
They are silent, Booker drinks his coffee, Nicky turns the radio back on and bobs his head to the beat of the soft, rumbling classical music that sounds faintly familiar but has no name in Booker's mind.  
  
When Booker gets up and rinses his cup, Nicky turns off the radio again. “Would you mind accompanying me to the market?” He hesitantly picks up the topic from earlier, but the question is posed differently. Now Nicky does not ask if Booker would like to accompany him, but rather if it would bother him if he would accompany Nicky.  
  
And while Booker has only been part of the group for two centuries, he's seen what that means many times. He sets the mug aside and makes a soft sound that he didn't know he was still capable of. "Is it that kind of day today?"  
  
Nicky abuses his lower lip with his teeth and looks almost uncomfortably touched, which involuntarily causes Booker to put a hand on his forearm and squeeze it encouragingly. “It's okay, Nicky. I would like to come to the market with you. With a little luck, I might be able to persuade you to buy dessert. And then I can choose something that neither Andy nor Joe eat so I can continue to eat for three."  
  
“There's nothing sweet that Andy doesn't eat,” Nicky reminds him, but he smiles slightly and places his hand on Booker's hand in a grateful gesture. "Maybe I'm in a spending mood today and you will benefit from it." He pats Booker's hand and Booker grins.  
  
Sometimes, Nicky has days when he doesn't want to be alone. The silence, when no one is with him, then gets to him. And at such moments, the others always make sure that they spend the day together. Today, however, Joe and Andy are out and about, clearing up a few things for their next mission, and Booker has absolutely no problem helping Nicky with his presence. It is the least he can do for his constant kindness to him.  
  
"Then get your ass off the chair." He pats Nicky on the shoulder and grabs the keys. "The day won't stay young forever."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :)
> 
> In the next chapter the team is leaving Merrick's building behind, but they don't get that far due to a breakdown of a specific person - copying time starts! :3
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	8. Burning tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come on, Nicky. Don't worry, it's all good,” Joe says soothingly to his partner, his voice, which was so steely a few seconds ago, now soft and tender. He carefully grabs Nicky's hands and removes them from his head, which is twitching back and forth. “Nicolo, I'm here. It's...It's all good. All good, m-my heart."
> 
> Only then does Nile notice that Joe is crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long but I had a lot of stuff to do – all your kind comments and kudos made my week, so thank you! <3
> 
> And a big thank you to velvetneedles for beta reading my word salad! :3 All remaining mistakes belong to me :D

They have only been in the getaway car for twenty minutes, leaving Merrick's building behind when Joe says to Andy in a strained voice: "Stop the car."  
  
Nile squints the haze of tiredness from her eyes and looks ahead in confusion, where Joe gives Andy a deadly serious look that dispels any doubts that he is satisfied with a “no”. The warrior behind the wheel looks at him briefly before looking in the rearview mirror next to Nile, where Nicky is sitting.  
  
He and Joe look bad, which gives Nile a clue as to what has happened in the lab; Joe's skin is ash gray, his sweater riddled with bullets and there are still shards of glass from his jump through the window in his dark hair. Nicky is so pale that the shadows under his eyes look like bruises and the part that is bloodiest of him is his head. The back of his head, his jaw, his cheekbones below his eyes, everything is partially covered with dried blood.  
  
He hasn't made a sound since they got into the car, but he has his hands pressed against both sides of his head and sways back and forth, his torso hunched over his knees. Nile didn't dare speak to him.  
  
"There are still two kilometers to a remote for-” Andy says.  
  
"Now! Stop it now!” Joe interrupts her and Nile has never heard him talk so harshly. She is instantly more alert and looks out the window of the car. They are on a country road that is slowly darkened by the night and in her opinion, it wouldn't be advisable to stop now. Not after what they did at Merrick's.  
 **  
**To her astonishment, Andy follows Joe's _order_ immediately and steers the car to the side of the road, where she turns off the engine. Joe jumps out of the car, pulls open the side door and practically hauls Booker outside. Not to get to his throat, as Nile first assumes, but to get to Nicky, who is sitting in the middle of the bench.

**** "Come on, Nicky. Don't worry, it's all good,” Joe says soothingly to his partner, his voice, which was so steely a few seconds ago, now soft and tender. He carefully grabs Nicky's hands and removes them from his head, which is twitching back and forth. “Nicolo, I'm here. It's...It's all good. All good, m-my heart."  
  
Only then does Nile notice that Joe is crying.   
  
"I'm h-here, Nicolo. I'm here.” He kisses Nicky's knuckles. "I'm here."  
  
With bated breath, because Nile doesn't want to disturb the two of them, she watches Nicky suddenly throw himself at Joe and the huge sobs shake his broad shoulders with terrifying brutality.  
  
Joe staggers back a few steps because of the force, but he holds Nicky and himself upright and leads them a little away from the car before they both sink to the ground. Nicky's hands clenched so tightly in Joe's sweater that his knuckles are white.  
  
“Shhh, I have you, my heart. I've got you,” Joe mumbles while tears run down his cheeks into his beard and holds Nicky, who whimpers and sobs. “You are safe. Nobody will ever touch you against your will again, Nicolo. I will kill anyone who tries.”  
  
Nile stares wordlessly at the two men in each other's arms, then at Andy and Booker. In view of Nicky's breakdown, Andy's lips are pressed together into a thin line, and when the warrior gets out, Nile gets out of the car too. Booker gives the impression that he is about to throw up; he is bracing himself with one arm on the hood of the car.  
  
"Joe...” Andy begins in a tone that suggests that she thinks it would be best if they kept driving.  
  
"No!" Joe cuts her off harshly, for the second time in the last ten minutes. “You don't know what they did! What...What they did because  _you_ betrayed us, you lousy asshole!” Joe's anger pulsates from him at Booker and even Nile feels concerned, even if she wasn't the one committing the betrayal.  
  
Booker rubs his face roughly. "Joe, I am..."  
  
"You can save your words, you shitty bastard!" Joe shouts, doesn't stop hugging Nicky to his chest, who continues to cry and shiver. "They...They...They removed his eyes to see if he was still blind when they grew back!" His screams break under the emotions written on Joe's face. "And...they took away his ability to hear...because...oh  _god_ , Nicolo..." He kisses Nicky's temple, his dark eyes full of agony. "... I don't know how often they...his hearing...Booker, you  _know_ what that means to him!” His focus returns to Nicky, becoming softer and more desperate. “I'm so sorry, Nicky. So sorry, my heart.”  
  
Andy's face is a waxy mask and the murderous twinkle in her eyes promises a long death to those who did this to Joe and Nicky. "Fuck," she breathes out.  
  
Booker is actually vomiting and Nile wipes the tears from her eyes as discreetly as possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is again just a small one, I hope you don't mind that much :D 
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)
> 
> Next up is a moment after they lost Quynh.
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	9. Melody of mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is her first visit to the market after the...event and she was persuaded by Yusuf and Nicolo to take another step into the world of the living. Her two companions and closest friends, her brothers, are standing at a fresh fruit stall and Yusuf is laughing at something Nicolo is saying. He throws his head back and looks so lighthearted that Andromache cannot suppress the sting of jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Here is the new chapter and I want to thank velvetneedles for beta reading it! :3 All remaining mistakes belong to my pack :D
> 
> I am still blown away by the great response to this story and appreciate all your kudos and comments a lot!!! <33

The gentle plucking of the lyre is like salt in the open wound of Andromache's heart, and she clenches her hands into fists, digs her nails into her palms to feel a different pain than the one in her chest.  
  
The noises of the market square blur around her into a muffled whole and only the melody of the lyre can be heard clearly and distinctly. Quynh had always loved the sounds of lyres and listened to pieces of music with shining eyes and a happy, cheeky grin. It's like fate mocks her.  
  
Andromache forces herself to breathe, struggling against the suffocating weight that lays on her chest, breathing through the searing pain of loss that is far too fresh, far too new and  _there_ . But the bittersweet memories that the lyre awakens in her don't really facilitate this endeavor. Memories of happy evenings in the firelight, bare skin under the cool light of the moon, Quynh's quick-witted tongue and her viper-like speed in battle flood her mind. Those times are lost forever, gone with Quynh drowning somewhere in the sea. Over and over again, all alone.  
  
And Andromache feels so helpless that every breath is like breathing shards of glass.  
  
It is her first visit to the market after the...event and she was persuaded by Yusuf and Nicolo to take another step into the world of the living. Her two companions and closest friends, her brothers, are standing at a fresh fruit stall and Yusuf is laughing at something Nicolo is saying. He throws his head back and looks so lighthearted that Andromache cannot suppress the sting of jealousy.  
  
She knows that it is wrong to think this way and in truth she gives the two of them their happiness with all her heart, but she misses Quynh so madly, longs for her slim, strong arms and her smile. Her curious nature and her great sense of justice. It is unfair that she has lost all of that now, while Nicolo and Yusuf can always laugh and be happy.  
  
And she tries to see a light for herself at the end of the tunnel for the sake of her little brothers, but without Quynh everything is cold and dark, and Andromache cannot live with the knowledge that Quynh will be in never-ending agony somewhere. Because she couldn't protect her.  
  
"Do you enjoy playing the lyre?" Yusuf asks cheerfully as he and Nicolo join her, carrying a basket with cheese, bread and fruit in a negligent way. Nicolo could also carry this basket, but Yusuf is a romantic through and through and, accordingly, being cavalier.  
  
A smile appears on Nicolo's face and Andromache feels sick, because she doesn't have the heart to explain to them that this trip to the market was a bad idea, even though it was meant to cheer her up.  
  
"The melody is quite pleasant, even if I can hardly hear my own thoughts because of the market noise and the lyre," Nicolo jokes and seems to be satisfied with himself when Yusuf laughs.  
  
Too many sources of noise at once cause problems for Nicolo because they make it difficult to orientate himself and for him this visit to the market is a challenge that he has mastered surprisingly well so far. And even if Andromache is aware of this and cannot blame him, her emotional anguish kindles a spark of irrational anger. Quynh liked lyres, so no one should say a bad word about them.  
  
“Then cover your ears, so you don't hear anything!” She hisses and fuck, it's unfair and mean of her, but her heart hurts so much. "What else did you expect at a market?"  
  
Nicolo winces and the smile collapses like the ruins of an old building. Struck he lowers his gaze to the ground, his hands clawing the hem of his shirt, although she sees his fingers twitch in Yusuf's direction.  
  
Yusuf looks at her with an angry expression and Andromache automatically grinds her teeth because he doesn't have the right to be angry. She can be angry at herself, Nicolo and Yusuf and the world, fate and even God, if this bastard should even exist.  
  
"You will now apologize to Nicolo,” he asks her and steps closer to Nicolo so that he can better feel his body heat. “We understand that you are angry, Andromache. And hurt and sad and that you have to suffer deeply. We miss her too. But you won't take that out on him. Do you understand me?"  
  
For Nicolo, adding the inability to hear to his blindness is a sensitive issue, and Andromache and Quynh have seen more than once why it is like that. She still remembers Quynh's tearful eyes when they first saw Nicolo lose his hearing in a fight and her own raging anger, which made her swear inwardly that Nicolo would never have to suffer anything like that again.  
  
And all of a sudden her burning anger is gone and all remaining is bone-deep fatigue and overwhelming sadness. Yusuf's dark eyes become soft and understanding in response to her changed mood and she is glad to find no pity in them.  
  
"Nicolo," she says quietly to the other man, who has been listening with tensed jaws and he nods once briefly but remains with bowed head. Andromache deeply regrets every word and even if she does not make a particularly sensitive and emphatic impression on most, her small family means everything to her. "Nicolo, please look at me."  
  
Yusuf briefly touches one of his hands - not prompting or urging, but only supporting, regardless of whether Nicolo decides to comply with her request or not.  
  
Seconds go by and Andromache just doesn't wring her hands nervously because she's Andromache the fucking Scythian and also standing in the middle of a marketplace where anyone could stare at her.  
  
When Nicolo slowly fixes his gaze on her, Andromache reads deep sorrow on his face and it hits her like a blow when she realizes that this sorrow is  _for_ her and her loss. The gentleness of the blind warrior still surprises her, and she doesn't have to think about it when she cups the back of his neck and hugs him tightly and lovingly.  
  
“I deeply apologize to you, Nicolo. My pain justifies my words in no way, and I would never ask you to do anything like that. I'm sorry.” She realizes her voice is shaking, but this time doesn't try to hide it. For Nicolo and Yusuf, who have been and always will be her greatest support in the past days, weeks and months.  
  
As he puts his arms around her, she practically melts with relief into his warm, secure grip that tells of nothing but love and affection. Another strong pair of arms wraps around both of them and she feels how Yusuf kisses her on the head.  
  
“There is nothing to excuse,” Nicolo says quietly and Andromache refrains from telling him that this is not true. “But we want to help you, Andromache. Your pain goes deep and will last a long time, but we can share it with you. You just have to let us. "  
  
"How can I refuse you something?" She asks, feeling for the first time since what happened with Quynh that she is smiling. The smile is just a shadow and doesn't reach her eyes, but it's there and that matters. "After all, you spoil me with pastries."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> In the next chap we'll have the pub scene ;)
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	10. When the soul is hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The patient, calm warrior, who can always be recognized under Nicky's gentle facade, is nowhere to be seen across from Joe; with every approaching sound, the rhythm of Nicky's index finger ceases. He has hunched his shoulders and bowed his head.
> 
> And what's worse for Joe: He didn't look them in the face at the few words he uttered. His eyes flicker shyly over the table in front of him, as if Nicky couldn't focus his attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos - I cannot believe how many that are!! <3 
> 
> Today just another short snippet, but it is one of my favorites :D
> 
> As always a big thank you to velvetneedles for beta reading :3 All remaining mistakes are totally my own! :D

_Tap-Taptap-Tap_ , Nicky's index finger is restless on the table and Joe wants to scream and break something and tear to shreds all those who dared to touch Nicky. He wants to scream and rage and express his despair because Nicky is hurt, and Joe doesn't know how to help him.  
  
The pub they sit in to discuss Booker's sentence is relatively busy, but Joe hasn't touched his drink any more than Andy or Nicky touched theirs. Nile took a swig of her glass and left it at that before heading outside to see Booker. She made her attitude towards the discussion about a punishment more than clear and Joe tries not to blame her. After all, she is still young and innocent. But letting Booker get away with just an apology is impossible.  
  
Perhaps Joe could more easily overlook his betrayal if only _he_ had been tortured in the laboratory. But that is not the case and Nicky's perceptible uneasiness, which is in such stark contrast to his usual steadfastness and prudence, makes it impossible to forget the last few days.  
  
The patient, calm warrior, who can always be recognized under Nicky's gentle facade, is nowhere to be seen across from Joe; with every approaching sound, the rhythm of Nicky's index finger ceases. He has hunched his shoulders and bowed his head.  
  
And what's worse for Joe: He didn't look them in the face at the few words he uttered. His eyes flicker shyly over the table in front of him, as if Nicky couldn't focus his attention.  
  
The murderous look Joe throws at Booker through the window doesn't even begin to express what he wants to do with the Frenchman.  
  
Nicky is the strongest person Joe knows and that was proven again last night. They'd stayed in one of their safe houses after their breakdown on the highway, and as Joe cried again, hugging Nicky's back, Nicky had turned to comfort and calm _him_. Joe can never build up his emotions and always has to show them openly and the tears came yesterday all alone; for Nicky, for what they had experienced in the lab, for Andy and her mortality, for Booker and his betrayal, for Nile and the gravity of the beginnings of immortality. Nicky tends to lock in everything until there is no more room to take in.  
  
"Nicolo." Joe's one knee has been pressed against Nicky's since they arrived at the pub, for emotional and spiritual support. Now he grabs Nicky's hand, which is drumming the rhythm on the table, tangles their fingers and Nicky squeezes his so hard that it hurts, but Joe doesn't complain.  
  
"Nicky, I can imagine how difficult it is for you right now, but we are a team and as such we have to make decisions," Andy speaks to him gently from the side. "Do you agree to 100 years of exile?"  
  
Unlike Joe, who first insisted on 500 years, then pleaded for 350 years and finally asked for 100 years, Nicky did not join the conversation, even though Joe knows that he was listening carefully.  
  
Andy had adamantly rejected the first suggestion and swept the 350 years aside, but Joe hadn't let himself be deterred from the hundred years and the way Andy had sighed tonelessly, she could have read it in his face. And even if Joe cannot or does not like to kill Booker - despite everything he still is his little brother - he wants to make him pay by any and all means for what he has done.  
  
Because Booker is the reason Nicky doesn't raise his head and jerks his free hand away when Andy's fingers brush it. Immediately afterwards Nicky's mouth twists unhappily and apologetically and he feels for Andy's hand to clasp it.  
  
"Oh Nicky," Andy says quietly and Joe can't stand the worry in her blue eyes. She gives Nicky the time he needs to come up with an answer and Joe draws invisible patterns on the back of his hand.  
  
"I...” Nicky starts slowly after five minutes, eyes still on the tabletop and Joe chokes down the lump in his throat. Andy's eyes shine suspiciously. "...agree with that. The reasons for his actions are understandable, but no justification. There has to be a price."  
  
"Okay, _hayati_ ," Joe says gently, increasing the pressure of his knee on Nicky's.  
  
"Okay," Andy says determinedly. "Then I'll let him know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> The next chapter will be uploaded on Thursday and I cannot say more than: Healing Malta time :D
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	11. A grove of cypresses called home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe doesn't move a muscle for a heartbeat and then changes position so quickly that he almost hits Nicky's nose with the back of his head. Nicky feels the breeze and his hands are suddenly so empty as the curls disappear, but soon after Joe's muscular upper arms are under his fingers. "Nicolo,” Joe whispers so hoarsely and quietly that Nicky knows that his partner has understood the change inside him. “You can ask me anything. But never that, because kissing you is always a precious privilege and never one that needs permission."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all your kind comments and kudos, I really appreciate it! <3
> 
> And like always a big gift basket for velvetneedles for beta reading! :3 All remaining mistakes belong to me :D 
> 
> Well, let's start the healing time in Malta ;)

Nicky likes Joe's curls. He likes the way they wrap around his fingers when he runs his fingers through them and how incredibly soft they are. He likes them because their structure tells him so much about Joe without having to see him. He likes them because he's the only one Joe allows to touch his hair in this way. And he likes them because he loves the intimacy and closeness they have when he buries his hands in Joe's locks.  
  
"Oh my god..." Joe mumbles, leaning the back of his head further into Nicky's hands, which are massaging his scalp. They are sitting outside in the small garden of their home in Malta. Nicky is leaning against the orange tree; Joe is between his legs and leaning against Nicky's chest while he recites a poem to him.  
  
Nicky smiles and tugs at one of Joe's curls. "Read on, habibi."  
  
"How can I read on when you do such magical things with your hands?" Joe sounds mockingly reproachful but continues in a pleasantly warm voice to recite the Arabic words that Nicky soaks up like a sponge.  
  
They've been here for a month now. They booked a flight to Malta straight after visiting Copley. Nicky would like to say it was their own decision, but Andy kicked them out and didn't accept a no.  
  
The first few days were the hardest for Nicky; everything was too loud and too uncertain, as if the background noise could be replaced by deadly silence at any moment and more than once he woke up with his heart racing in panic and tears in his eyes, hastily fumbling for Joe and only being calmed down through Joe's soothing voice.  
  
Nicky is still ashamed of the unconscious reluctance to touch. Joe is the person he never has to back down from, but if he was too caught up in his thoughts, in memories of the laboratory, every touch promised a threat. He hates that he hurt Joe with it, although Joe would never judge him for that, and he hates how wrong his blindness felt in the first two weeks.  
  
Joe is so patient with him and so loving that Nicky wants to cry and one evening he did. All that pent-up emotion had burst out of him when he had smelled almonds, because Booker always smelled subliminally of almonds, and Joe had been there as Joe always is.  
  
But when time does something, it is healing and Nicky dares to look his conversation partners in the face again while talking. As he turned his eyes to where Joe's face was while suggesting they could go to the beach the next day, Joe gave a choked sob and covered his face with a thousand kisses. All of them tasted like the salt of their tears.  
  
But more than kisses have not been exchanged between them yet and Nicky knows that Joe will be waiting for him because he understands, supports and loves him. But it annoys himself that Kozak and Keane managed to make him consider his blindness (again) as a barrier and not a part of him.  
  
Too many things have happened that he couldn't predict because Kozak took away everything he owned, and what gave him an idea of the surroundings; the physical pain of her experiments doesn't even begin to go as deep as the gaping gullet of his soul and the head shot by Keane did the rest.  
  
But in that moment, when Nicky revels in the sweet smell of oranges, is tickled by the sun peeking through the branches of the tree, feels Joe's grounding weight, and has his familiar voice soft with affection in his ear, he feels in harmony with himself for the first time since their arrival.  
  
The next breath is free of the weight he was subconsciously bearing, and he laughs in relief, carefully grasping the back of Joe's head with his hands.  
  
Joe immediately stops reading and Nicky is overwhelmed by the love that flows through him because Joe's attention has never strayed from him despite reading aloud. "Are you okay, _tesoro_?"  
  
"Joe, can you kiss me?" Nicky asks, his voice shakes but this time not with fear and pain.  
  
Joe doesn't move a muscle for a heartbeat and then changes position so quickly that he almost hits Nicky's nose with the back of his head. Nicky feels the breeze and his hands are suddenly so empty as the curls disappear, but soon after Joe's muscular upper arms are under his fingers. "Nicolo,” Joe whispers so hoarsely and quietly that Nicky knows that his partner has understood the change inside him. “You can ask me anything. But never that, because kissing you is always a precious privilege and never one that needs permission."  
  
He kisses Nicky and Nicky holds him tight, gasps as Joe's beard tantalizes his skin and tries not to stop the tears that leave his eyes and run down his cheeks. And Joe reads him like a book, recognizing the tears for what they are: signs of joy that the shadows of the past have dissolved.  
  
"Thank you," Nicky whispers against Joe's lips, wrestling another kiss from them that is like the nectar he needs to live. “I love you so much, Yusuf. Now and forever."  
  
Joe smiles into the kiss, which neither of them wants to end. "Now and forever," he repeats so sincerely that everything else becomes meaningless.  
  
They kiss lazily and sweetly, take their time with their touches and whispered words, promise each other with the brush of flashing skin under their clothes that _more_ for the night they have both longed for so long. Joe catches every sound Nicky makes with his mouth and Nicky drowns in cypress and citrus, charcoal and oil paint.  
  
After a simple dinner consisting of bread, cheese, olives and tomatoes and under the cool veil of the night, they make love under the orange tree and Nicky loses himself in the sensation of Joe, as if he and Joe were one. The blades of grass beneath his exposed skin, surrounded by oranges and sea and Joe's slow, delicious movements that make Nicky dizzy and wring moans and pleas from his lips. There are advantages to owning a remote home.  
  
He clings to Joe as he falls and doesn't stop falling as the heat engulfs him, makes him shiver and Joe swallows his released sigh in a breathtaking kiss that penetrates deep into his soul and heals him.  
  
His mind, clouded with overstimulation and Joe - Joe, Joe, _Yusuf_ everywhere - has a hard time grasping the thought, but when Nicky catches him, he implements it; his hands go up, encircle Joe's face and pull it down for another kiss before Nicky directs his eyes to exactly where his forefingers touch the corner of Joe's eye.  
  
"Nicolo!" Joe shouts and curses violently when he finds his release and Nicky is a little proud of himself that he apparently managed to look Joe in the eye.  
  
The smile is still on his face as he takes Joe apart in their bedroom with careful, tender touches, locking and keeping every groan, every gasp, every mumbled word in his heart. With each other's name on their lips, they climax almost simultaneously and when they then fold their hands cuddled together, Nicky can say with certainty that he is ready to return to the real world.  
  
"You're great, Nicky," Joe whispers in his ear and they both know that he's not talking about sex, which of course shouldn't be ignored. "And nobody in this world will ever know how lucky I am because only _I_ have you to myself."  
  
Nicky laughs noiselessly. "Shut up and get some sleep, Joe."

"As you wish, my heart," Joe says giggling, positions himself behind him and pulls Nicky to his chest. "Anything for you."   
  
It doesn't matter that they have a house in Malta that they visit regularly - Nicky's home is cypress trees and charcoal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> Next up is the first time Andromache, Quynh, Yusuf and Nicolo do a job together and Andromache is slightly sceptical and not so slightly concerned because of Nicolo's blindness.   
> I'll be back in the new year :3
> 
> I wish all of you happy holidays! Stay safe <3 
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	12. Trusting family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the underlying meaning of her words seeps through to Yusuf, the grin loses its luminosity a little and he suddenly seems more cautious. “We can do this job together, Andromache. There's not a single reason against it.” The way he emphasizes _Not a single reason_ makes it clear that he knows exactly what she's getting at. And he doesn't like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> I hope you had wonderful holidays, Christmas (if you celebrate) and NYE. Happy new year! :3
> 
> Your kudos (I can't handle the number!) and comments made me smile, so thank you! <3
> 
> And a large bouquet for velvetneedles for beta reading this chapter! :) All mistakes left belong to me ;)

The skepticism that takes hold of Andromache when Yusuf and Nicolo announce that they will accompany her and Quynh on their new mission is clearly shown on her face. It's not as if she doesn't trust her new brothers to cover her back; Joe is a gifted fighter with the scimitar and Nicolo can also handle a sword. However, the fact is that Andromache and Quynh have only trained with them so far and fighting on a mission is something completely different. Even if they can't die, there is always the risk that it will be the final time or that someone will discover their secret and capture them. And Andromache can fucking do without that, thank you very much.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea," she expresses her doubts directly and without hesitation. The ax on her lap is a familiar weight, and the process by which she sharpens the edge is like meditation.  
  
Yusuf stops poking around in the fire with a dagger to rearrange the branches. “Why? We just have to protect the merchants from bandits until the next town. Nicolo and I have already done this a thousand times and you certainly have done it a lot more often.” He throws that broad, glowing grin at her that lets those charming crinkles appear around his eyes. "It'll be easy."  
  
She suspected it wasn't going to be simple, but Andromache is not a woman who beats about the bush. “Still, Quynh and I should do this alone. We can still look out for a job that we can do together afterwards."  
  
When the underlying meaning of her words seeps through to Yusuf, the grin loses its luminosity a little and he suddenly seems more cautious. “We can do this job together, Andromache. There's not a single reason against it.” The way he emphasizes  _ Not a single reason _ makes it clear that he knows exactly what she's getting at. And he doesn't like it.   
  
Christ, Andromache doesn't like it either. She never took heed of prejudice and when they suspected Nicolo's blindness through her and Quynh's dreams and this was confirmed at their first meeting, they did not turn away and accepted him for who he is. Much to Yusuf's apparent relief. She loves him and Nicolo like her brothers, unconditionally and with every fiber of her being, but she and Quynh feel a great protective instinct for them, especially Nicolo.  
  
And even if she would never admit it, she wants to keep him away from this job because she doesn't want him to be hurt. It is illogical and irrational, Nicolo has been killed many times, as have Yusuf and Quynh and herself, but if it is in her power she will prevent it. For this reason, she returns Yusuf's piercing look: hard and adamant.  
  
“We'll be moving in unfamiliar terrain and quickly because the caravan wants to reach the coast in three days. There will be a lot of new experiences and strangers,” she lists perfect arguments for her attitude.  
  
Yusuf shakes his head vehemently and Andromache cannot help but see the hint of disbelief in this gesture. “You saw how he can fight. He's not helpless!” As always when he talks about Nicolo, his voice vibrates with a passion that makes Andromache's blood sing like when she traces Quynh's skin with her lips. “I thought you would have seen that. And now you want to do exactly what he feared before we met you. "  
  
"I want to protect him!" Andromache explains sharply.  _I don't want to exclude him._   
  
"Just like me!" Yusuf replies angrily and gestures around in the air with his dagger in a non-threatening way. Nicolo gesticulates a lot with his hands when he talks and the idea that Yusuf copied it from him warms her heart. “But he can take good care of himself, he has proven that to me often enough. He is not weak, Andromache!"  
  
“I would never consider him weak! Neither would Quynh!” She reads in his eyes that he believes her immediately despite his anger. And the affection for him and Nicolo causes a sweet pain in her chest.  
  
"So we accompany the caravan together," Yusuf says resolutely and gets up. "In a group of four."  
  
She is prevented from answering when Quynh's casual, joyful laughter can be heard and a little later she and Nicolo come into view. Her lover is swinging a hunted rabbit in one hand, carries her bow and quiver on her back and has hooked her free hand in the crook of Nicolo's arm. He smiles too and holds more firewood under his other arm.  
  
"Make yourself useful and skin the rabbit," Quynh shouts happily and throws the rabbit to join the ax on Andromache's lap. "Nicolo and I have done enough work for today."  
  
Nicolo grins slightly and unloads the firewood next to her belongings, but when he turns in Yusuf's direction by following the sound of his breathing, he furrowed his eyebrows in concern. “Yusuf? Did something happen?"  
  
Yusuf shoots Andromache, a look who asks:  _Yes, Andromache, did something happen?_ But he takes the few steps it takes to close the distance between himself and Nicolo. "I'm glad you're back." He kisses Nicolo tenderly and the latter puts his arm around Yusuf, but he doesn't seem satisfied with this answer.  
  
"And I'm just being left out?" Quynh wants to know, mockingly injured and crosses her arms in insult. “Andromache, why don't you greet me like that too? We can't allow Nicolo and Yusuf to make more of a fuss than we do.”  
  
"And if we can," Andromache says dryly, but gets up and greets Quynh with a deep kiss. "Satisfied?"  
  
"Hm, maybe you have to do it again,” Quynh says teasingly, but in her dark eyes lies the question that Nicolo asked aloud.  
  
"Maybe I have to," Andromache agrees and silently promises Quynh an answer later.  


-*-

  
The four of them accompany the caravan. Which is due to Yusuf's stubborn refusal to accept a 'no' from her and to Quynh, who suggested that they could still keep an eye on Nicolo while doing the job.  
  
Nicolo himself only waited for her decision and even if Yusuf told him about the incident in the afternoon, his face is free from any reproaches and his voice is friendly and gentle as ever. Andromache hates that Yusuf and Nicolo snuck into her heart so easily.  
  
Nothing exciting happens during the first two days and when Andromache sees how fascinated Nicolo is as he listens to the noises around him and seems particularly captivated by the laughter of the children, she cannot regret taking him and Yusuf with them. It is foolish to hope that the third and last day will also proceed without difficulty.  
  
Around noon they approach a rock formation that is the perfect place for an ambush and the moment Andromache thinks so, a merchant at the beginning of the caravan is pierced by an arrow and falls from his horse. Seconds later, several armed men come out of their hiding place and start circling the caravan.  
  
Panic breaks out in the caravan. Horses shy away, women scream in fear and children begin to cry and Andromache's first impulse is not to turn to the fearful people, but to look for Nicolo. She only relaxes a little when she sees Yusuf standing next to him and concentrates on the fighting when Yusuf and Nicolo start shouting at women, children and the unarmed to seek cover behind the largest carriage.  
  
"Let's send these assholes to hell," Andromache tells Quynh and her lover nods with a wolfish grin before pulling out a dagger and sliding away.  
  
Andromache's ax cuts through two bandits like butter before they realize that she is not defenseless because she is a woman and that gives her enough time to throw herself at them. Beside her, Quynh sweeps through the attacking bandits like a whirlwind, her dagger finds its way into a man two meters away and the whirling blade of her sword slashes an approaching man from stomach to throat in a single flowing movement.  
  
Andromache gets a knife rammed into her stomach and falls grunting on her knees, but her opponent pulls the knife out too early and before the injury is completely healed, Andromache has decapitated him cleanly.  
  
With a look over her shoulder, she makes sure that the women and children are okay and spots Yusuf and Nicolo, who are standing back to back with their weapons drawn and fighting the robbers who could get past Andromache and Quynh. Their blades shine red and the corpses on the blood-soaked ground keep growing, but more and more bandits come out of their holes and Andromache utters an annoyed curse that lets the mouth from a bandit fall open in shock. She kills him with a huge swing of her ax.  
  
Nicolo actually holds his own in a real fight with no problem and although Andromache saw him fight in her dreams, the proof of Yusuf's words is a relief to her. Although he does well, Yusuf is always there to end one of his attacks and Nicolo does the same for him.  
  
The sudden scream of a child causes all four immortals to pause for a moment, and Andromache grips the handle of her ax tighter. One of the bandits on horseback made it to the carriage and got one of the sacks filled with some jewelry, but one of the children has crouched behind it and is clinging to it. Without further ado, the bandit puts the sack and the child in front of him on the saddle and spurs his horse.  
  
"Motherfucking hell!" Andromache shouts and starts running, even though she knows that she is too slow.  
  
Quynh heads for her bow, which she has put down for more movement in hand-to-hand combat and Yusuf talks reassuringly to a crying and screaming woman who fights against his grip while he proceeds to keep her in cover. And Nicolo...reaches for a crossbow.  
  
He must have known about it before, because he doesn’t waste a second looking and pulls it out from under a sheet on the carriage and clamps a bolt. With his eyes closed, he takes a few steps away from the carriage, his head bowed intently listening and then he positions himself, lifts the crossbow and shoots the rider who is retreating with the screaming child.  
  
The bolt pierces the bandit's back with a smack that Andromache can hear even from her position. She sprints towards the slowing horse and the ground slumping figure of the bandit and lifts the crying child in her arms when she reaches it. With this and the horse on the reins, the sack of jewelry on the saddle, she returns to the caravan and notices with satisfaction that Yusuf and Quynh have sent the rest of the pigs into the realm of the dead.  
  
Nicolo puts the crossbow aside and asks: "Is the child injured?"  
  
Andromache will never again attempt to intentionally discourage him and thus Yusuf from a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> In the next chapter Nile is slowly finding her place in this new family and learns that Nicky is still deadly as a bullet.
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	13. Light of hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What is he saying?" She asks as Joe calls out a few more words, which cause some strollers to turn around to look at them. Nicky laughs and pulls at his arm and Joe climbs off the barrier, only to grab Nicky and twirl him around.
> 
> "I surely won't repeat every sappy word Joe shouted like an idiot to you." Andy's affectionate smile belies the rudeness of her words. "He's been telling the world about his love for Nicky in Arabic, using some...disgusting flowery metaphors."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Here is the next chapter and I will not apologize for letting Nicky be a blind sniper because the image of that is just too good :D
> 
> All your comments and kudos warm my heart and I am so grateful for your support! <3 :)
> 
> Thank you so much, velvetneedles, for beta reading again! :3 All remaining mistakes are my own! :D
> 
> Enjoy!

Who would have thought that visiting the beach with immortals was so normal? Nile certainly didn't, but it's a nice change to see Andy without an ax or a weapon in hand, although the older woman probably still has a pistol somewhere and at least two knives. Still, Andy looks more relaxed than Nile has ever seen her, which only spans a few months, and she smiles even more and wider.  
  
Perhaps Andy's lightened mood is only due to the presence of Joe and Nicky, who had returned from their Malta vacation the day before yesterday, and Nile is reassured to note that the two men look much better than in the pub where they discussed Booker's fate.  
  
The painful, worried lines have disappeared from Joe's face and his smile has regained the radiance it last showed that evening in Paris. This time, Nile was ready for his bear hug and she hugged him back at least as tightly because she really missed him. Him and Nicky.  
  
Nicky's posture is more upright and as relaxed as when she first met him and he showed her her bed and he no longer gives the impression of wanting to hide somewhere, keeps his head up and his bright eyes always focused on her face when he is talking to them. Something that he didn't do in Paris, but that he's doing now to her shows Nile that he trusts her and she could cry.  
  
Hand in hand, Nicky and Joe stroll down the promenade a bit in front of them. She cannot understand the exchanged words due to the noise of the waves and the wind, but sees Nicky gesticulating with his free hand and has to smile.  
  
"They'll do you good," Andy says suddenly and literally inhales the rest of her ice cream before pointing to Joe and Nicky, whose laughter is carried to them. When Nile looks at her questioningly, Andy waves her hand in the air as if that explains everything and groans in annoyance. "Shit, I can't have conversations like that."  
  
"You should think about that before you start talking,” Nile informs her with a grin. She has learned in the last few weeks how to behave towards Andy.  
  
"Hey, show a little respect for the elderly!" Andy flicks against Nile's forehead, but also grins. Her gaze becomes soft and warm when it comes back to rest on Joe and Nicky. Joe is about to climb the barrier and shouts something into the sky in a language Nile can't understand. Beside her, Andy coughs a laugh and Nicky grabs Joe's arm in an attempt to get him off the barrier, smiling wider than Nile has ever seen.  
  
"What is he saying?" She asks as Joe calls out a few more words, which cause some strollers to turn around to look at them. Nicky laughs and pulls at his arm and Joe climbs off the barrier, only to grab Nicky and twirl him around.  
  
"I surely won't repeat every sappy word Joe shouted like an idiot to you." Andy's affectionate smile belies the rudeness of her words. "He's been telling the world about his love for Nicky in Arabic, using some...disgusting flowery metaphors."  
  
"Wow." Nile looks again at Nicky and Joe, who are now standing tightly embraced in the middle of the promenade in their own world and kissing. "Does he do that often?"  
  
"Occasionally. Mostly when Joe feels the need to show Nicky publicly that he loves him for who he is.” A shadow wanders over Andy's face, which irritates Nile.  
  
"Why should Joe now feel... _oh_." Merrick, Booker, the lab where more terrible things have happened than Nile can imagine. And suddenly she feels the urge to kick anyone in the ass who dares to awaken this need in Joe, because neither he nor Nicky have to justify their love for each other.  
  
In the coming months, Nile thinks she understands what Andy meant with her statement that Joe and Nicky would be good for her: despite their incredibly old age, the two have not yet lost their lust for life, take advantage of every day, value the little things and are so _normal_ that Nile begins to feel at home in the group of Immortals.  
  
She paints with Joe and visits art exhibitions and museums with him, where he tells her incredible anecdotes about many paintings and makes Nile lose her mind when he points out pictures he has painted that say the artist is unknown. She cooks with Nicky and admires the ease and elegance with which he whirls around in the kitchen and finds the nightly conversations they have when she dreams of Quynh again strangely soothing and comforting. She trains with Andy and listens with an open mouth to the stories that the older warrior lets incidentally slip into their conversations. She also misses Booker with his sad eyes and the feeling of connectedness she had towards him. But when she looks at Joe and Nicky laughing and fooling around and remembers how broken Nicky looked after the lab and how desperately Joe watched his partner, then she recognizes exile as an appropriate punishment. Though a hundred years still somehow sounded too much to her.  
  
"Wait, no shit?" With wide eyes she looks at Nicky, who assembles a paintball gun in practiced movements, which according to him is perfect for demonstrations. And even if Nile finds it kind of amusing, she gets the point behind it. " _You_ are the group's sniper?"  
  
"I'm one of the snipers", Nicky corrects her with a small smile, but doesn't let her disbelief irritate him and Nile tries not to choke on her spit because...he's _blind_ and is assembling a harmless replacement of a _sniper rifle_ as if that were something completely normal! “Obviously I can't act as a sniper in all situations because of my blindness, so then Andy is behind the rifle. Only if I have a spotter who can correct my shooting angle and give me instructions and inspect the area to be observed in advance to get an idea of the surroundings and when I am in earshot, I'm the sniper."  
  
"You're all completely crazy," Nile says, laughing in disbelief and nudging Nicky lightly with her shoulder. "How come you're one of the snipers anyway?"  
  
"I have more patience than Joe and Andy and my hands are the calmest,” Nicky explains simply and then raises his voice: "Okay, Joe, you can!"  
  
"All right, my heart!" Joe calls back from where he is standing between some trees thirty meters away. While Nicky aims the rifle, Joe sets off and starts jogging, his heavy boots making dull noises on the floor. Nicky listens quietly for a few seconds before pulling the trigger and Joe's black sweater has a blob of blue on his stomach.  
  
"You are kidding me," Nile gasps, feeling like she's in some exaggerated movie.  
  
Nicky makes an indefinable sound. "Joe, where did I hit you?"  
  
"On the stomach. Very good, Nicky!” Joe cheers happily.  
  
Nicky frowns and moves his head back and forth. “That wasn't my best shot, Nile. The farther away the enemy is, the harder it is to hear them and the harder it is to figure out where to aim from the sounds. That's why I'm only a sniper when we have time and don't need all the people at the front.”  
  
"You are unbelievable," Nile murmurs, grinning with a roll of her eyes. "Can you teach me to shoot blind?"  
  
"It would make more sense to teach you to fight blind first," Nicky points out in a friendly manner.  
  
The usefulness of fighting blind shows on their next mission when Andy, Nile, Joe and Nicky are sweeping a building and the freaking assholes, who want to escape their punishment, decide to turn off the electricity completely.  
  
In a split second, Nile is swallowed up by darkness and she curses and feels for a wall that she can use for orientation. "Damn! Guys? Uh...what's the plan?"  
  
"I hate missions that have complications!" Andy growls to her right. "Stay where you are!"  
  
"What's going on?" Nicky asks in a lowered voice from behind Nile and she could clap her forehead because nothing has changed for him.  
  
"We all can't see anything because they turned off the power," Joe replies, but doesn't sound as alarmed as Nile feels.  
  
Sweat builds up on the back of her neck and her own breath is too loud in her ears. She winces violently and jerks her gun up when something touches her shoulder, but it's only Nicky.  
  
“Don't worry, Nile. We're getting out of here.” And she wants to believe him with all her heart, but she can't fucking see and somewhere in this building the bad guys are either running away or they're trying to take advantage of them and take out the immortals.  
  
A door squeaks open somewhere and suddenly something painfully hits her thigh and sends her to the ground. "Ah, shit! I think the idiots are trying their luck against us."  
  
"Get as close to the wall as you can," Andy orders, and Nile's panic gets even bigger when she realizes that Andy is mortal and the bad guys have almost certainly night-vision devices. "What's that going to be, Joe?"  
  
"What does it look lik...okay, that was a bad choice of words," Joe admits. “Of all of us, you are the most vulnerable right now, so stay behind me until we can see where our enemies are again. Nicky?”  
  
Something rushes past her with a draft. "I will be back in a moment,“ Nicky says.  
  
Nile's thigh has already healed, but she stays on the floor and presses herself against the wall with her heart pounding in her throat, expecting to be shot again at any moment.  
  
"What the...?" A male voice calls in front of them and then there is a metallic noise and the words are drowned in a damp gurgle.  
  
"Is that one of-"  
  
"Shoot him! Sho-"  
  
Shots are fired, but none seem to hit the target and the curses and screams quickly break off.  
  
"Please! Please don't!” Someone whines.  
  
"Where's the power supply?" Nicky's voice is so low that Nile almost can't hear him.  
  
"Oh god, please don't kill m-argh!"  
  
"Where is the power supply?"  
  
"T-Two flights of stairs down, the first d-door on the left."  
  
"We'll both go downstairs and you'll turn the power back on, understood?"  
  
"Y-Yes." Steps move away, a door opens and closes and Nile doesn't know how long she tries to inhale and exhale slowly until the hallway is flooded with brightness that makes her squint.  
  
"Finally," Andy grumbles and frees herself from Joe, who has formed a kind of protective cage around her with his arms. She looks at the bodies scattered at the end of the hall with hands on her hips. “Get Nicky, we'll meet at the car. Nile, you come with me. Let's clean up the rest of this damn building.”  
  
Nile can only nod.  
  
In the getaway car, she stares at Nicky, who offers Joe a pillow with his shoulder, until she blurts out: "You're like Daredevil!"  
  
Everything is silent until Nicky asks, his nose scrunched in confusion, "Who is Daredevil?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> Wow, only one chapter left...time flies by! Next up: Nile has a question for Nicky and although Joe asked him the same a long time ago, he's still looking forward to hear Nicky's answer.
> 
> Also, check out my tumblr @lovelikedestiny for the amazing artwork of my best friend for the second chap of this story! It is amazing!
> 
> Greetings and hugs! <3


	14. Through different eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Usually it doesn't bother me to be blind anymore. I've had 900 years to get used to it,” Nicky jokes and Nile grins snorting, but rests her chin on her hands, waiting. “And because of that I don't really want to be able to see. But nevertheless...“ He pauses to carefully place the onions in the bowl with the tomatoes "...there are still moments when I wish I had my eyesight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)
> 
> Wow, the last chapter...a part of me is quite sad that this little story is coming to an end but I am also endless grateful for your kind comments and kudos – I didn't expect such a great response to this! Thank you so much! <3
> 
> And special thanks to velvetneedles for beta reading again – you're a great help! :3 All remaining mistakes belong to me and my pack :D
> 
> Enjoy!

Joe is happiest in moments like these: when he is sitting in front of a canvas, the brush in his hand and can relax while he is surrounded by his family. The smell of fresh herbs wafts from the kitchen, where Nicky is just about to prepare dinner for today. Nile is lounging next to Andy on the sofa and scrolling through something on her phone and Andy herself is dozing in the last rays of the sun. All of this makes Joe feel so at _home_ that he can't help but smile.  
  
The empty armchair in the living room puts a damper on this feeling and Joe knows that deep down he has long since forgiven Booker and that he misses his brother, his best friend, very much. But he is not ready to have him close by yet, close by _Nicky_ , and everyone present accepts that without reservation.  
  
He starts to mix the shade of green for the trees that rise up into the sky in front of their house and in the kitchen Nicky starts to hum softly while cutting the tomatoes. Out of the corner of his eye, Joe sees Nile slowly putting her phone down and watching Nicky for a while before she carefully gets up and joins him.  
  
Joe's partner acknowledges her presence with a small smile, but is not deterred in his actions and reaches for a red onion.  
  
"Nicky?" Nile asks after a few seconds and sinks onto one of the stools at the counter. "Can...I ask you a personal question? And you don't have to answer it either, if you...well, I wouldn't be angry or something."  
  
Joe applies the brush without taking his attention from the conversation in the kitchen. His gratitude for Nile and her good-natured, open-minded character is indescribable and he loves her with all his heart as a new part of their little family. Especially because she accepted Nicky unconditionally.  
  
The cutting stops, but starts again shortly afterwards. “Of course, Nile. Whatever is on your mind, I'll do my best to answer you."  
  
Encouraged by Nicky's kind words, Nile shifts back and forth on the stool to make herself more comfortable and Joe pauses in his strokes, not wanting to miss her question. “Do you sometimes wish you could see? I mean, people say you can't miss anything you've never had, but...is it the same for you?"  
  
Although Joe has had similar conversations with Nicky over the centuries, he can't deny looking forward to his response every time, as there won't be a day when he doesn't want to hear Nicky putting his fascinating thoughts into words.  
  
“Usually it doesn't bother me to be blind anymore. I've had 900 years to get used to it,” Nicky jokes and Nile grins snorting, but rests her chin on her hands, waiting. “And because of that I don't really want to be able to see. But nevertheless...“ He pauses to carefully place the onions in the bowl with the tomatoes "...there are still moments when I wish I had my eyesight."  
  
"And what are those moments?"  
  
Joe puts his brush down and no longer pretends not to listen to Nile and Nicky and when he turns around he sees that Andy is also lying on the sofa with open eyes.  
  
Humming thoughtfully, Nicky puts the cutting board and knife in the sink and washes his hands, wipes them on the kitchen towel and scratches his cheek. “Mostly when I'm with you, with my family. When I perceive something from you that I want to see whether it is how I imagine it to be."  
  
He seems to sense that Nile is waiting for more information, because Nicky willingly takes the floor again: “I would like to know if Quynh's face lights up when she speaks in her bell-clear voice as I imagine it. Whether Booker's attitude is just as marked by loss, but also by underlying strength, as his sad, powerless but also welcoming and determined charisma expresses. Whether Andy looks exactly like a predator on the hunt when she moves, as her sharp-edged, elegant face suggests. Whether the laugh lines around Joe's eyes express exactly the exuberant enthusiasm for life that I can hear in his laughter. Whether you have the confident, sensitive look that your smell of rose petals, coconut and vanilla reports to me.” Nicky feels for Nile's arm, orientates himself on it and then strokes her cheek. "Was I able to answer your question?"  
  
"Yes, thanks, Nicky." Nile reflects his gesture and briefly puts her hand on his cheek. "And just for the record: Joe's crinkles make him look like a half-dead panda in the morning."  
  
"Hey!" Joe protests, grinning. "That is absolutely not true!"  
  
Nicky chuckles and turns to get a pan out of the cupboard. "Since pandas have a high cuteness factor, that is a compliment, _habibi._ "  
  
"Pandas are fat and clumsy,” Andy joins in mercilessly and Nile breaks out into a laugh.  
  
"You're just jealous that you don't get compliments," Joe teases her back and decides to finish the picture tomorrow. There are more important things in his life.  
  
Nicky already awaits him in the kitchen with a knowing smile and melts with a small sigh into Joe's embrace. " _The eye sees all, but the mind shows us what we want to see_ ," Joe quotes Shakespeare (even if he didn't like him, Shakespeare was undoubtedly good with words) at this moment, filled with more happiness than anyone could ever feel.  
  
Nicky kisses the side of his neck, his hands warm and firm on Joe's hips. "Does that mean you're just imagining all how you want it to be? Are you dreaming, my love?" He asks amused, his bright eyes fixed on Joe's cheekbones.  
  
"If this is a dream," Joe whispers against Nicky's lips with a smile. "Then I never want to wake up again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you enough for joining me on this journey! :33
> 
> There's a lot of stuff on my TOG-list waiting to be written, so maybe we'll read us again – who knows? :)
> 
> Stay safe and hugs! <3


End file.
